Always
by CindyBaby
Summary: No matter what they did, it would always lead back to this, to them.
1. Chapter 1

**I´ve just started watching Nikita, the new version and I´m hooked. This is my first Nikita fic so please, be gentle, or tough, whichever you prefer ;)**

The bag shook with each hit. With each hit Michael grew angrier and soon he was hitting and kicking with full force and taking out all of his frustrations on the bag. In his mind he saw Nikita as she was 4 years ago, smiling and talking. But that was before everything happened. Before she left division. Before she left him. Before Daniel. The bag rattled against it´s restraints as he hit it again and again. Tonight Nikita had caught up to them again, and as usual he had been unable to do his job, to kill her, or at least capture her. Not that he didn´t have the opportunity, he did, Nikita was one of the best, but so was he, and he had trained her. If anyone knew her moves it was him.

He had had his gun trained at her but he had let her go. Again. He knew this couldn´t continue, he knew that Percy was watching his every move, wary of what he would do. But he couldn´t kill Nikita, it just wasn´t possible. Three years apart hadn´t changed that.

Nikita slowly rinsed her hair, tonight had been a success. At least to her plan to destroy Percy. Unbidden thoughts of Michael crept into her head. He had let her go again. She had lost count of all the times now, she wondered what it meant for him, and for them. At that thought she scoffed lightly. There was no "them", it hadn´t been for a long time. If there ever was. But deep down she knew that they had had something. Had something, as in the past. When she closed her eyes it was his eyes she saw, as they had looked tonight. Dark and full of conflict. The past, yeah right, now if only she could convince herself of that.

Birkhoff entered the training area and stopped. He wanted to talk to Michael but he wasn´t in his office and one of the agents, whatever his name was, had seen him heading this way. And there he was. Birkoff watched as Michael beat the shit out of that poor bag. He wondered what had happened tonight, except Nikita sweeping in and taking over. Nikita... Michael hadn´t been the same since she vanished three years ago, and now he seemed to constantly be in a troubled mood. Birkoff could understand that, he had been at division longer than most, and knew that it had been something between Michael and Nikita. And now she was back, trying to take them down. He couldn´t really fault Michael for being in a bad mood. With a sigh he turned and walked back the way he came.

Nikita was walking swiftly down the street. From a distance a lone figure watched her as she went about her business of shopping groceries. When she was done she turned and headed down the street, the man watching following at a distance.


	2. Friend?

**Thank you so much for the reviews, and it makes me really happy that people seem to like this pairing too! Now maybe we will find out who the mystery man is... As usual nothing belongs to me.**

Walking down the street carrying her groceries Nikita let out a content sigh. She usually wasn´t this relaxed while she was out and among people. But doing such a mundane thing as shopping for groceries made her feel almost normal, like she was anyone of these people walking down the street, not a rouge agent being hunted down. As soon as the thought had left her head she felt a prick of awareness, she slowly looked around her, nothing seemed out of place, but Nikita knew that that could change in a second.

Taking a left turn down a side street she hurried her step a bit, meanwhile looking for a place to hide. Finding herself in an alley with no exit she turned swearing softly to herself upon finding no place to hide.

A man stepped into the alley a couple of steps in front of her.

Nikita sighed and slowly placed her bags on the ground beside her. The man wasn´t pointing a gun at her so he obviously was here for something else. Regardless, you could never be to careful and she slowly reached behind her swiftly drawing ger gun and pointing it at the man, who was now smirking.

"Who are you?"

Her vocie was hard.

"A friend".

She scoffed.

"Does this friend have a name?"

"Owen".

Well didn´t that sound strangely familiar...

"You´re division".

"Was" he nodded. "Not anymore".

Nikita let out a laugh.

"You expect me to belive that Owen? I´ve heard of you, you´re one of percy´s golden boys, probably only second to..." at this she trailed off, for some reason not willing to say Michaels name out loud.

At her hesitation Owen looked at her more closely.

"Michael. You´re right. I was only second after Michael".

The sound of his name made her refocus her gun. The air suddenly filled with a tension she didn´t understand.

"What do you want?" Her vocie was steady. Years of training and working for division had made her able to not show any emotion. Well, not often at least.

"I want to help" he offered.

She laughed.

"With what? Carrying my groceries? You could have just asked you know" a small smile gracing her lips.

"You know what". His voice was steady. "I want to help you take down division".

"Why?" Her voice was hard.

"Because I know how you feel. I feel the same".

"You don´t know anything about how I feel, and If you don´t start speaking more clearly you´re going to find yourself with a bullet between the eyes" her vocie still strong, didn´t waver.

Owen sighed and when he spoke, his voice was soft.

"Because they took everything from me, just like they did for you. Her name was Emily. They killed her.".

Nikita couldn´t help but feel sympathetic, despite the fact that she still didn´t know if he was telling the truth. Only one way to find out.

"You still in division?"

"No, I went rouge a few days ago".

"How come I haven´t heard of this then?"

"Percy wants to keep it silent for as long as he can. He dosen´t want word getting out that he has two rouge agents running around stirring up trouble".

"And are you?" She asked.

"Am I what?"

"Trouble".

He let a hard smile grace his face for a second.

"Not for you".

Percy was pissed. No, that was an understatement. He was furious. Now not only was Nikita running around making all sorts of threats and destroying missions, Michael was behaving irrationaly and Birkhoff had been unable (or unwilling he added to himself, who knew what everyone was thinking when that woman was invloved) to trace her down. His and Michaels discussion earlier had turned heated and for a second Percy had wondered if Michael was loyal anymore. He had simply offered to put another agent in charge of tracing Nikita down and disposing of her, and Michael had flown off the handle completely. Accusing Percy of not trusting him with his job and so on. Percy had eventually agreed to let Michael continue to lead the operation responsible for tracking Nikita down. But he wondered if Michael was really that worried about being replaced by another agent, or if he was worried that another agent might be able to finish the job and find Nikita. Anyhow Percy concluded, this couldn´t continue. Something had to give.

After making sure she wasn´t followed Nikita slipped into her apartment. Despite his words to the contrary she still didn´t know if she could trust Owen. She had been taught to trust no one and he would have to prove himself first. She would contact him later for more specific information, after she had checked his story.

Now she had an important decision to make. Red or black?

In another apartment Michael was getting ready. Tonight was important for Percy, there was a party being thrown for the senator who was just getting back from his trip overseas. Senator Adams was a long time friend of Percys and from what Michael could gather, important to him. They had some business togheter he had told Michael, not telling him anymore than that. Just to be there at 7 o´clock with his team consisting of Steven, Roger and Robert. Pulling out a tux from the closet he looked in the mirror and sighed. When did things become so complicated?

**So what do you think? Is it time for Michael and Nikita to come face to face?**


	3. Loved and lost

**Did anyone notice Michaels reaction when Percy called Owen Nikitas boyfriend in "The Guardian"? Well I did (well at least I hope it was a reaction to the word boyfriend, and not the other stuff going on with Owen being tortured and so on), and now I´m going to explore Michaels jealous side. For fun. And because Michael needs to wake up and get his ass in gear. As usual I own nothing except my own dirty mind. **

Michael was standing off to the side, a glass of scotch in his hand, casually leaning against the bar. To an innocent bystander he looked completely at ease, in reality he was on high alert, every few seconds scanning the room years in division had taught him to blend in in a crowd. The fact that he had that kind of magnetism around him, that made people, both men and woman, take another look at him, didn´t become him. He wasn´t the kind of person that cared about it, except when it was useful in a mission. The hard lessons of life had taught him what was important.

As he watched Percy was working the crowd, no doubt making both friends and enemies. Brown hair caught his attention and a shiver ran down his spine. Was it really? He turned and started walking toward the shiny brown hair that had caught his attention, but stopped when she was suddenly gone. He must have been mistaken, she wouldn´t dare. Not with so many division agents around. But deep down he knew the truth. Right from the start he and Nikita had a connection, it was one of the things that made them such a good team, and after working a lot of missions togheter he could _feel _her. Almost as if his body was attuned to hers in some strange way. Feel her? Now you´re completely losing it he thought to himself. But even as he denied it to himself, he was sure, Nikita was here.

Red had been a good choice. The color looked great with her dark hair and olive skin. The cut of the dress was quite daring, maybe one of the most daring things she had ever worn, it dipped down in the front exposing the tops of her breasts and flowed out at her hips to end a bit over her knees. Combined with her black high heels and her hair slightly curled and falling free over her back she looked good.

A tingle at the back of her neck made her stand up straighter and glance behind her. Michael. She didn´t know if he had seen her yet but she decided not to take any chances. Sneaking away undetected she cursed him for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. It would make this so much harder with him around watching her every move.

Walking down a long corridor Nikita finally found the room she was looking for and slipped inside after spending a few minutes disabling the alarm. She found herself in a bedroom, which she knew belonged to the senator. Now where to place the device. She found the perfect spot and gave herself a mental pat on the back. If everything went according to plan, she would have a senator by her side soon, and Percy would be minus one ally. The thought made her smile. Now, how to get out undetected.

Everything was going fine. She decided to take the stairs and avoid the possibillity of being trapped in an elevator with no way out. Everything would have worked out great, had not one division agent by the name of Robert noticed her walking off, everything would have been great had not Michael noticed Robert noticing Nikita. As it turned out Nikita walked into the lobbey being followed by two senior agents.

A glance to the left and Nikita realised she was being followed, there was no way she was going to make it out the door before the agent caught up to her. Making a quick decision she walked up to a few men on her right, one of them she recogniced as a very important director for one of the countrys largest firms. What they made their money off she had no idea?

"Excuse me, I think I recognice you, have we met before?"

Using the sweet and soft voice Amanda had taught her to attract men she smiled inwardly. Oh, if only Amanda could see her now, maybe she would´ve been proud. The man turned to her with a smile as wide as Canada.

"I´m sure I would´ve remembered that face if that were the case". He lifted her hand and placed a kiss on it " But in case I´m wrong, I´m James Edwood. And you are?"

"Nikita" She smiled her Amanda-taught smile.

"What a beautiful name, it suits you".

From the corner of her eye she saw Robert and Michael both stopping to watch, Michael still hidden in the shadows behind Robert. She let out a pearling laugh and placed her hand on his arm.

"Such a charmer, where have you been my whole life?" She flirted and she laughed. It was almost like a show, she was acting and everyone was watching. Of course, only three of them knew it was an act, and one of them was her toughest critic. She could feel his eyes burning into the back of her head. She didn´t dare turn around but she knew he was there, still watching.

James was going to get his coat and Nikita quickly evaluated her chances. She realised this was the only one she was going to get. She had to leave. Now.

"Well Nikita, would it be to forward of me to ask that you have lunch with me this week?

James voice brought her back to the present and smiling she tapped his arm.

"I tell you what, if you manage to find me, I promise I´ll have lunch with you".

Another brilliant smile before she slipped around him and darted out the door.

She heard the agent cursing as he tried to get around the people trying to get their coats, for once she had no idea where Michael was.

Running down an alley she marveled at how her life seemed to have been reduced to hanging around alleys and avoiding strange men. Well Nikita thought to herself, nothing like a blast from the past.

A shot rang out, hitting the ground beside her where she had stopped for a second to make her next move.

"Don´t move. Turn around".

She didn´t recognice the voice. Not Michael, then it must be that other agent. This was not good.

She slowly turned around, hands in the air. Another blast from the past, it was almost like the first time she met Michael after she left division. Only this man was no Michael and wouldn´t hesitate to kill her. She was lucky he hadn´t already.

She saw him focus his gun and her brain slowed down, her body preparing itself to fight.

A shot rang out.

The man before her fell to his knees, a hole in his chest. He stared behind her, baffled, before he fell to the ground, closing his eyes.

Turning around she met Michaels dark eyes.

Their gazes locked and held.

"Michael"

His name coming from her lips made the tension surrounding them thicken until he found it hard to breathe. His name from her lips was all he had ever wanted to hear. It made him remember all the times he had thought about her whispering it to him, lovingly, all the times he dreamt of her moaning it as he made her realize that no one could make her feel the way he could. Not even Daniel.

His eyes darkened even more with the pain that came with these thoughts. Always a little bit of both. He took a step forward, his gun still drawn.

"Nikita"

The way he said her name had always made her shiver. No one said her name the way he did. Like it was a caress in itself, his tounge curling around the letters. In her daze she failed to notice that he had stepped even closer, now being only a few feet away from her. The sight of his gun still drawn brought her back.

"You can put that away" she tried to keep her vocie steady despite her inner chaos.

"Can I?"

His question made the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. She could feel the flames coming closer now and it made her reckless.

"Are you going to let me go or are you just biding your time?" she threw the words at him.

"I haven´t decided yet. Maybe I should take you in. It is my job after all, and I can do my job".

She suspected the words were meant to hurt her, by implying that she had been, or was, unable to do hers.

"Really? Go ahead then Michael. Take me in. If you can".

He laughed, a hard laugh. One she had never wanted to hear, but she was riled up now and couldn´t stop.

"No really Michael, you´ve had a lot of opportunites, but you haven´t done anything yet. You scared?"

Now it was her turn to laugh.

"Don´t tell me Percy´s golden boy is scared?"

She continued, ignoring the way he glared at her and the way his jaw clenched.

"Aren´t you supposed to be taking me in? Or killing me?"

"Do you want me to kill you?" His voice was hard and he hissed the words at her.

"Oh it´s only fitting don´t you think. You trained me. Maybe you should be the one to stop me. Make Percy proud. That´s all that matters right?"

She knew she was being unfair, that Michael wasn´t like that, not at all. But her blood was boiling and she was angry. Angry at him. He was standing there, despite his anger he was still in control. His eyes blazed but he held his body under control, not moving. It infuriated her how in control he always seemed to be, never showing her what he felt. Suddenly she wanted to strip him of all his defences, tear away all the pretense and all of his walls. She wanted him to feel the way she did. Raw and vulnerable.

A well aimed kick and his gun hit the wall on the other side of the alley. His eyes snapped back to hers.

"Come on, Michael, show me you´ve got"

She threw him a taunting smirk.

"Unless you´re afraid of what I can do to you..."

She barely had time to finish the sentence before he attacked. She just managed to duck out of the way and snapped back up again with a kick to his stomach. He was knocked backwards but regained his footing and came at her with a punch that made her twist to the side, trying to kick his legs out from under him, he jumped and tried to grab her but she was fast and managed to get under his arm. She threw a punch, he blocked it, she threw another that he also blocked.

_I saw a warning sign  
And then you threw me up against the wall_

Suddenly he reached forward in a surprise move and grabbed her arms, turning her and slamming her hard against the wall, making her see stars as her head banged against the alley wall. Before she could regain her footing he pressed his arm against her windpipe and his body against hers, holding her to the wall.

_Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?  
I wish that I had never loved at all_

She struggled against him, but it was no use, his grip was to tight and she felt herself begin to tire.

For a few seconds all that was heard was their loud breathing. Michael´s eyes met hers and with the adenaline running through his body he felt electrified. In her eyes he saw fear, not of him, but of the things he made her feel. His shone of triumph and something she didn´t dare name. He smiled, and let his gaze wander from her eyes to her lips and then back again. She tried to press herself back against the wall, away from him, but he simply followed, pressing her tightly against the wall with his body. He leaned forward, intending to kiss her but she turned her head to the side and his mouth met her ear.

His breathing was loud, small puffs of air hit her ear as he placed a small kiss against the shell of it.

"Maybe you should be afraid of what I can do to you..."

His words, even though it´s meaning was taunting didn´t come across as such. They were a threat and a promise all in one dark package, making her shiver, not in fear, but in need.

He leaned down to place a kiss against her neck, inhaling her scent and pressing his lips against her pulse point which he discovered was running wild. He repeated the action and felt her shiver in response, making him smile against her neck. His tounge slipped out to taste her skin and this time he heard her gasp.

His body reacted to the sound and he pressed his hips hard against hers and started to trail hard kisses along her neck, biting and sucking in time with her moans. It wasn´t enough, he had to taste her lips, now. He drew back and waited until she opened her eyes and looked at him. He started to lean forward, but stopped at the sound of a gun being cocked. They froze at the same time and turned towards the sound in unison.

A few meters away with gun raised was Owen. His voice was cold as he adressed Michael.

"Let her go. Now". 

**Damn you Owen! Lol. So what do you think? The lyrics are not mine, it´s from a song called "Up against the wall" with Boys Like girls.**


	4. I m falling apart

**Thank you so much for your support, it means a lot to me :) Now we have a strange situation on our hands here with Michael/Nikita/Owen... Oh, and just in case, this fic is rated M for a reason, sooner or later there will be lemons, I don´t know when, but they will appear so if that´s not your thing you have been warned ;) I own nothing**

"Let her go. Now".

Owens voice was cold.

Michaels body was still as stone as his eyes met Owens, he didn´t move.

Nikita eyed Owen, what was he doing here? She tried to take a step forward but Michaels grip on her body prevented her from moving. She glanced up at him and shivered. He was looking at Owen with a gaze so cold it was a wonder Owen hadn´t turned to ice where he stood.

"I said now!" Owen repeated himself, and focused the gun more sharply in their direction.

Michael slowly released Nikita and lifted his arms from her body. Owen and Nikita didn´t even have time to react before he had situated himself in front of Nikita.

"Owen"

"Michael"

"What are you doing here?"

Owen laughed.

"Well it seems like I have been saddled with the role as hero, ot at least, rescueer"

Now it was Michaels turn to laugh.

"Nobody here needs to be rescued"

"Didn´t look like that from where I was standing" Owen replied.

"Oh really?" Michaels tone was mocking and Nikita cringed, if she didn´t intervene this could turn ugly, fast. She couldn´t decide if she was relived or angry at the interruption. She hadn´t wanted the moment to end, but at the same time... she wasn´t sure she could trust Michael, she wanted to, desperately, but he was still in division, still loyal to Percy as far as she knew. Maybe it was best if she took this opportunity to get away from him and clear her head.

"Owen it´s okey, let´s just go"

As she tried to step around Michael he grabbed a hold of her wrist and growled;

"What do you think you´re doing?"

Nikita tried to avoid his eyes and was instead faced with his tux clad chest.

"I have to go".

"What? You´re not going anywhere with him." Michaels voice was hard and definitive.

"She wants to leave" Owen cut in and Nikita sighed.

" Nikita" Michaels voice hard voice wavered "you don´t understand. I don´t know how you two met, but you can´t trust him, he´s a cleaner, I know you know what that means".

"I know Michael"

"Excuse me, was, WAS a cleaner. I´m not with division anymore"

Nikita noticed that Michael didn´t seem surprised by this and it clicked.

"You knew. You knew he had gone rouge, that I wasn´t the only one had gotten out"

Her voice was accussing. She felt, _hurt, _because this was big news. At least for her, she could have an potential ally here, and Michael hadn´t wanted to tell her. She didn´t know why she was so surprised. She should have known that Percy and division would always come first. It hurt, _a lot._

Michael sighed and looked down before looking up at her again. When he spoke his voice was softer than before.

"Look, Nikita..."

"No Michael. It dosen´t matter. I was stupid to think _even _for second that you could be honest with me, that you could care about anything other than your beloved division".

"That´s not it and you know it" His voice raised she thought she heard an undertone of panic but she didn´t care.

"I don´t know anything. I don´t know you".

The words hurt him, she could tell. It hurt her too, even more so because she felt like they were true.

Silently they gazed into each others eyes.

_I´m falling apart, I´m barely breathing_

She broke their gaze and took a step back, then another. Her heart thundered in her chest.

_With a broken heart, that´s still beating_

"Nikita..."

Her eyes met his, and she saw pain reflected back at her.

_In the pain there is healing_

_In your name I find meaning_

He took a step toward her ignoring Owens voice telling him to stop.

"No." Nikita held up her hand to ward him off.

Suddenly shots rang out and Owen turned quickly and fired in direction of the sound.

"Nikita let´s go, division is here!"

"Wait Nikita, just wait, it dosen´t have to be like this" Michael was raw, his heart was pounding and he was scared that if she left now maybe he wouldn´t see her again. He reached forward to grab her but as his fingers wrapped around her arm Owen slammed into him, knocking him down.

Michael threw a punch and connected with Owens face sending sprawling along the ground. Owen quickly recovered and tried to sweep his legs out from underneath him but failed as Michael jumped out of the way.

"Stop!"

Nikitas voice was heard over the sound of screeching tires, but she was ignored. She looked wildy around her, they were almost on top of them now, getting closer with each second.

A pain in her arm made her gasp and Michaels eyes snapped to hers and down to where the bullet had grazed her. That was all it took for Owen to manage to get a kick in, making him fall to the ground, he got to his feet and prepared a fighting stance.

They were here. She ran. In the corner of her eye she saw Owen doing the same. But etched in her mind was Michaels eyes. Full of pain and regret.

Hours later after having bandaged her arm she finally allowed herself to rest. She lay down on her bed thinking of Michael. She didn´t notice when her pillow turned wet, and if she had she would have been surprised that she could still cry.

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight_

_Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time_

Michael turned on the light in his empty apartment. He went straight to the bedroom and laid down without changing. In his mind he saw her eyes. Was this it he wondered? Had he finally driven her so far away that she wouldn´t come back? Maybe it was for the good. He was poison to everyone around him, but he couldn´t help himself when it came to her. He had to be around her, he was drawn to her like a moth to the flame. Like a movie her words repeated in his mind, he saw her face, saw her eyes blink back tears. And the pain hit him making him squeeze his eyes shut and lay his arms over them, trying to shut out the world.

_And I am here still waiting even though I still have my doubts_

_I am damaged at best, like you´ve already figured out_

**Sorry for the short chapter guys! What did you think? The lyrics are from a song called "broken" by lifehouse.**


	5. Jealousy

**Now we have two broken hearts... I kind of imagined this story going in a different direction but it keeps changing on me :) Anyway, thanx for all the support guys, it means a lot! I own nothing.**

Ever since Nikita had run into Michael in that alley almost one week ago she had been unable to think of anything but him. She was still hurt, sometimes it hurt so much she could barely function. Deep down she knew Michael hadn´t meant to hurt her, that wasn´t who he was. She was just so frustrated and sad that division once again had managed to come between them.

Still, she had been reluctant to trust him, and now it seemed like that was a wise call. But how could he be so, _intimate, _with her, if he didn´t mean it. Was he really that cold?

No she thought to herself, she had felt his bodys reaction to her when they were in that alley, he had wanted her, she was certain of that. But then why?

Maybe he just wanted her, and didn´t care for her? But that didn´t sound like the Michael she remembered. Shaking her head, you were gone for three years she thought to herself, maybe he´s changed.

And why couldn´t he have? It´s was just in her mind, she pictured him always being the same. But she knew better than anyone how people could change.

"Hello"

Snapping back to the present she almost jumped when Owen sat down beside her on the bench.

"You startled me"

On the outside she sounded calm and collected, on the inside she was rattled that he had managed to sneek up on her so easily. She was sitting on a bench in a secluded part of the park, she should have seen him coming a mile away.

"You seemed to be deep in thought, you´re lucky I wasn´t coming to kill you"

Annoyed at what he was saying, and because he was right, she snapped;

"Did I ask for your advice?"

"Jeez calm down, I was just stating a fact"

"What do you want anyway?" She didn´t care that she was being rude, he had no business sweeping in on her and Michael the last time she had seen him.

"I just wanted to see how you were.. you seemed rather distraught the last time I saw you and then we had to split so..."

"It´s none of your business" She snapped, again.

"I just wanted to help, you know that right?"

When she didn´t answer he continued.

"Look how was I supposed to know, I mean, of course I have heard the rumours but..."

"What rumours?" Nikita asked, shocked.

"Oh never mind that. I just didn´t know what was going on... speaking of, what IS going on?"

"I don´t know what you´re talking about"

"Oh really, I´m talking about the fact that you and Michael, who is by the way one of the top agents in division, were up against an alley wall..." He took a deep breath. "I just want to know what´s going on here"

"Nothing is going on Owen"

"You´re lying"

"How do you know Michael by the way?" She asked, turning to look at him.

"I don´t".

"Now who´s lying?" She asked.

Owen laughed and reached out his hand and patted her on the knee lightly.

"I think we are going to get along just fine"

Michael was walking slowly up the steps to Percys office. Percy had called for him and Michael had a feeling he knew what he wanted to discuss. Nikita had been laying low this last week, ever since the shooting in the alley, where he had cornered her. Nobody suspected him of shooting Robert, they just assumed it was done by Owen, who had been armed when they got there, he wondered why they hadn´t bothered to ask him? It was strange, but he shrugged it off. Walking into Percys office he sat down in the chair in front of him and waited for him to speak up.

"Michael"

"Yes?"

"Nikita has been spotted"

"Where?"

"Exiting the park over at Greenville. I want you to go over there and have a look around the area, see if you spot anything that could lead us to her".

"Yes sir". He stood up to leave, when he reached the door Percy called out to him again.

"One more thing Michael"

He turned around.

"She wasn´t alone"

His heart constricted.

"Owen was with her".

He knew it had been coming, but hearing it out loud caused his heart to hurt. He blinked and looked back at Percy waiting for more.

"I want him alive" This was said sternly, a warning Michael thought. Don´t kill Owen, take him in.

"Yes sir".

He exited the office and headed out, feeling numb.

At the same time Nikita and Owen walked into her loft.

"So this is where you hang when you aren´t out ruining Percys plans?" Owen asked with a grin.

"I have to sleep somewhere" Nikita actually found herself smiling. It had been so long since she had been able to talk to another person, she had missed it.

"So does this mean you trust me now?"

"I´ve checked your story, it helps that Percy has a price on you´re head"

"Oh goody" he muttered

"Let´s get to work"

After working for five hours straight, they started to stretch uncomfortably where they were perched at the table.

"How about a drink"? Owen suggested

"I don´t know..." Nikita hesitated

"Oh come one, we can´t do anything right now anyway, and I´m stressed as fuck and need a beer. Or two."

He was right. She was stressed too, maybe relaxing for a bit would do her good.

"Alright, wait here while I change".

She decided to dress casually, dark jeans and a white top, this wasn´t a date she reminded herself, it was just beer, with a friend. She ignored the way he was looking at her when she met him at the door, instead motioning for him to hurry up.

She let him pick the place, and to her surprise it was actually pretty decent. It was a pretty small bar with a dancefloor to the side. They headed straight for the bar.

"So what will it be" Owen asked

"Tequila?"

He smiled and nodded. Ordering four which they downed straight away.

Nikita gasped and laughed.

"Just what I needed"

"I told you so, I could see a mile away that you were in a desperate need of a drink"

They laughed, and to Nikitas surprise it actually felt good. Thoughts of Michael tried to sneak in to her head but she shook them off, Michael had made his choice. Actually, if she was honest, she had lost count of all the times he hadn´t chosen her, instead favoring Percy and division.

With that thought in mind she ordered another round of shots.

Michael had been scouting the area for hours without finding any trace of either Owen or Nikita. He was just about to give up and head back to division when he saw them. They were walking swiftly down the street, and then heading into a bar? What were they up to? He followed and stepping into the bar he spotted them straight away as they had headed to the bar. He quickly situated himself in a dark corner and leaned back to watch.

Owen gasped as the shot burned his throat.

"So what´s up with you and Michael?"

Nikita feeling the effects of the alkohol actually answered.

"I don´t know, nothing I guess, he´s just..."

"Division" Owen supplied helpfully

"Yeah" Nikita sighed and opted to sip at her shot instead.

"Well if you ask me he´s not good enough for you" Owen stated

Nikita laughed.

"How do you know it isin´t the other way around?"

"Oh please, it´s so obvious"

"What is?"

"Oh I´m not telling" he teased

"It dosen´t matter anyway" She spoke softly "Michael made his choice a long time ago"

Hearing the sad tone of her voice he glanced over at her.

"Hey, do you want to dance? I love this song"

She grinned at him.

"Really? You´re a fan of Celine Dion?"

"I´ll have you know that I have all of her Cds at home, I just love It´s all coming back to me now"

"Alright then, I guess you would have been hard pressed to find another woman willing to dance with you"

"Very funny"

He took her hand and they walked to the dancefloor. He slowly placed his arms around her waist and waited while she hesitated, before placing hers around his neck. It was strange at first, but as the song continued the tension melted away and they didn´t move so stiffly. Owen pulled her a bit closer and Nikita couldn´t help but compare him to Michael.

Michael had always known how to hold her, like he knew her. His arms were always strong and made her feel safe, and at the same time reckless.

They were swaying slowly to the music and Nikita tried in vain to push Michael from her mind. Owen pulled back to look at her.

"I like this" he spoke softly

"Euhm...yeah it´s nice" God you´re such and idiot she said to herself, stop this now before it goes to far. She drew back a little bit.

"Look Owen, this it not what I want..."

She was cut off by Owens lips softly pressing against her own.

She was shocked at first and didn´t have time to react before she was ripped from Owens arms. She stumbled across the floor by the force of the push and looked back just in time to see Michael landing a right hook to Owens face, and then one to his stomach.

"Michael!"

He didn´t even glance back at her, instead opting to aim a kick to Owens knee, making him fall to the floor.

She threw herself at him, trying to hold him back, but he managed to throw her off. The fight had alerted the guards and they were quickly getting closer. Then she was pushed from behind and she fell, the last thing she remembered a sharp pain in her head.

Michael saw Nikita being pushed to the floor by the drunken crowd cheering the fight on. He dove to her side.

"Nikita? Nikita?" He quickly checked her pulse which was stable. He took one look at the guards and another one at Owen, who was struggling to get up from the floor, before sweeping Nikita up in his arms and quickly exiting through the back door, ignoring the calls for him to stop.

**Well... -flips a table and cowers behind it- don´t hate me for making Owen kiss Nikita, I just wanted Michael to have something to be pissed about :p Please tell me what you think ;)**


	6. You and Me

**I think this chapter is going to take some time to write, I have an idea of how I want it to be and I want it to be good, really good, since at least for now Michael and Nikita are together (so to speak)... I really want to make this great. We´ll see how it goes. Thank you so much for your reviews, they actually make me feel like writing even more, so thank you! As usual I own nothing.**

When Nikita came to she was laying on a bed in a room she didn´t recognize. Her head throbbed and she blinked slowly to clear her head from the dizziness that came over her when she tried to move.

The room was decorated in dark colors, all the furniture were dark and the walls was painted in some gray color. A lamp was lit on the bedside table casting a glow over the room.

Over her top she had on a white shirt that didn´t belong to her, she was certain since it was so big she was swimming in it.

Where was she?

She struggled to remember what had happened, but the last thing she remembered was trying to separate Michael and Owen. Michael?

She hadn´t done more than think that thought through before the door opened and Michael appeared. He slowly crossed over to the bed. When he got closer she noticed that he was carrying a glass of water and some sort of painkillers. Without a word he handed them to her. She gratefully accepted. She took her time swallowing the pills and drinking the water, wanted to avoid the conversation she was sure would follow. But no such luck, this was Michael afterall.

"You hit your head pretty hard, but I don´t hink you have a concussion, but you should take it easy today just in case".

His voice was cold, and Nikita tried to swallow the lump in her throat so she could speak.

"I´m in your apartment?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"We have some things we need to discuss"

Nikitas temper flared. Sometimes Michael acted as if she was still in division, and he was still her trainer, telling her what to do and when to do it.

"You couldn´t have asked? Instead of kidnapping me?"

"It´s hardly kidnapping Nikita, you were passed out and needed help"

"Well I wouldn´t have passed out if SOMEONE hadn´t started a fight!"

"What did you expect? He kissed you Nikita!" He was furious, that much was obvious.

"Newsflash Michael, I can kiss whoever I want, when I want, you don´t own me" Now she angry too.

That was obviously the wrong thing to say as Michaels eyes darkened to a point where they almost seemed black. He leaned forward so that there was barely any space between them, his eyes staring hard into hers.

"That´s where you´re wrong"

The door slammed behind him before she had the time to compose a reply.

She didn´t see Michael for a few hours, and she was so tired she didn´t have the energy to venture out of the bedroom, at least that´s what she told herself, it wasn´t that she didn´t want to face him. No of course that wasn´t it. In the end she had to leave the bedroom in search of some food. Stepping outside she smelled something delicious and she followed it to the kitchen where Michael was in the process of cooking dinner.

He looked up from what he was doing and over at her but didn´t say anything.

She didn´t say anything either and proceeded with setting the table, trying to figure out where Michael kept everything. Overall it went pretty good and she was done at the same time he was finished.

He put the food on the table which turned out to be chicken chili with rice. Her favorite. She looked up at him, trying to meet his gaze but he kept avoiding her.

They ate the meal in silence. Michael only getting up to get a bottle of wine from the kitchen.

When they were done they cleaned the table and put everything in the dishwasher. She turned to thank him but he left the room without another look.

Well. That was nice. Nikita sighed and walked into the bedroom.

An hour later she was bored to tears and there was no sign of Michael.

This couldn´t go on, if she was going to stay here until she felt better, which she assumed was his purpose in bringing her here, he had to at least talk to her.

He wasn´t in the kitchen and the bathroom was empy. She spotted a closed door down the hall and walked toward it. Hesitating for only a moment before turning the knob and pushing the door open, she was met with the sight of a large table which held a computer and various tracking devices.

Michael sat in a chair in front of the table and looked up when she walked in. She took a deep breath.

"If I´m going to stay here you have to at least talk to me"

"Do I?"

She hated the cold tone of his vocie so much she wanted to scream with frustration.

"Yes you do, that is if you want me to stay here"

Michael laughed, which only served to make her angry. His next sentence pissed her off to no end.

"What makes you think you have a choice Nikita?"

"Oh please Michael, how are you going to keep me here? Furthermore why would you even want to? Aren´t you afraid Percy is going to find out what you have been up to?"

"He won´t"

"How can you be so sure?" She asked, something wasn´t right, he was hiding something from her.

"You don´t have to worry about that" his tone clipped.

"Damnit Michael why won´t you talk to me?" She nearly screamed and then gasped when he was suddenly in front of her. He grabbed her arms and pulled her against him.

"I can´t talk to you right now Nikita" he growled at her.

"Why not?" She winced at the tone of her voice.

His hands on her arms tightened, and she stared up into his eyes as they glowered down at her.

"Because" His hands tightened even more "everytime I look at you I see _him, _kissing you"

He spat the words out with such venom she didn´t know what to say at first. But then she got angry too, what right did he have, acting as if he had a say in her life?

"Don´t, for one second think that you have any say in what I do Michael, you gave up that right long ago, hell, you have never had that right!"

"Don´t say that, I..."

He didn´t get any futher than that before she started again.

"If I want to kiss Owen, then I damn well will kiss him, you got that?"

Uh uh. Judging by the way Michaels eyes had darkened and his fast breathing, she shouldn´t have said that, but it was to late to take it back, and damnit, she didn´t want to.

"Take that back".

"I will not". If there was one thing that described her well, it was that she was stubborn, you didn´t manage to hide from one of the most covert organisations in the world for three years by giving up.

Michael was angry. No more than that he was livid. She could tell. His hands pulled her a fraction closer and she could feel the tension in his body ready to snap. She took some perverse form of pleasure in the fact that she could affect the cool and collected Michael this way. She shouldn´t, but she couldn´t stop herself, she rarely could when it came to Michael. She spoke, a defiant tilt to her voice;

"What are you gonna do about it?"

A smirk slowly spread over Michaels face, making him look more like the devil than the archangel he shared a name with.

He leaned forward, their noses almost touching and whispered to her, his deep raspy voice making her shiver despite the warmth in the room;

"I´m going to make you forget that there ever was anyone but me"

Before she had time to react he kissed her.

The thing is, when you play with fire you might just get burned.

The kiss was rough and it shook her to the core. It was filled with pain, anger, frustration, longing and desire. She tried to fight it, to fight him, but it was impossible. Not only was Michael much stronger than her, but she couldn´t fight her own feelings that he evoked in her. She made an attempt to twist herself free out of his arms but it only resulted in him pulling her harder against him , she gasped and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue between her lips, possessing her mouth completely.

Her knees buckled and gave out. Michael, feeling her drop against him insinuated one knee between her legs, holding her up.

Feeling her start to give in and warm to his touch his kiss turned softer, his lips caressing hers gently and lovingly, his tongue trying to coax hers to join his.

She melted against him, his leg between hers holding her up. it created a friction she was desperate to have and she kissed him back hesitantly.

Feeling her kiss him back his need grew stronger and his lips left hers to trail down her neck, only stopping to bite or suck at her skin.

She whimpered and pressed herself closer to him, the feel of his hard body so close to her own making her head swim and any thought she had was lost in the sea of desire floating around them.

He was sucking so hard at her neck she knew she would have bruises there but she couldn´t make him stop, he had to relieve this ache that he had started, she was sure she couldn´t go on breathing otherwise.

Suddenly he turned them so that her back was to the table and with one sweep of his arm, the computer and everything else in the way crashed to the floor with a loud crash that neither cared about.

He lifted her up on the table and let his hands slide down from her waist to her legs and gently part them so he could step between them, and for the first time since he first kissed her he met her eyes.

Their breathing was loud in the otherwise silent room, their eyes caught in one another, desire reflected back at them.

Her legs burned where he had placed his hands. She slowly leaned forward to press her lips against his, closing her eyes.

He pulled her against him and the tender kiss quickly turned heated and he pulled back to meet her dark gaze with his own again before lifting her arms and placing them around his neck.

His hands snaked around her to caress her back, up to the back of her neck where he took a firm grasp and pulled her lips to his once again.

She ran her fingers through his short hair, tugging lightly at the strands making him groan and kiss her more deeply.

One hand stroked her stomach and she had never hated clothes more than she did at that moment. He was making a circular motion on her stomach and she wanted to scream at him to hurry up, that she was dying, but she couldn´t form any words.

He seemed to sense her urgency because soon his fingers were playing with the buttons on her shirt, quickly undoing them. He pulled back to look at her as he parted the shirt, he held her gaze for a few seconds before his eyes slipped down to her chest. Her chest was heaving, making her breast brush against his.

She blushed, suddenly glad that she had always had a fondness for pretty lingerie. The bra she was wearing was a deep blue lace and judging by the awestruck look on Michaels face, he approved. That didn´t change the fact that she was a bit embarrassed, this was Michael after all. The man who had trained her, helped her and fought with her. Her gaze left his face to look down at the jeans she was still wearing when one finger lifted her face up and her eyes once again met his.

"You´re so beautiful" His voice was rough and at the same time incredibly tender.

She smiled, and he was immediately blinded.

She reached forward, her fingers trailing across his stomach and ventured further down to snake under his shirt to caress his bare skin. He jumped when her fingers made contact with his skin. She let her fingers caress him softly for a few seconds before impatiently tugging at his shirt, making her meaning clear.

He took a small step back and lifted his shirt over his head letting it fall to the floor.

Her eyes roved over him. His abs, and over his arms. Those strong arms that could hold her tight and keep her safe and at the same time squeeze the life out of a man.

Her hand took a hold of his belt and she slowly pulled him back to her.

She leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his chest, her tongue snaking out to taste his skin. He tasted like nothing she had ever tasted before and couldn´t really describe. Like chocolate and sin, like freedom and redemption. He tasted like everything she had ever wanted but hadn´t known to look for.

She let her lips trail up his chest to close around a nipple, she scraped her teeth against it and let her tongue follow after.

Michaels head fell back and he groaned.

She played him like a musician would his favorite violin, knowing exactly what to do to make him shake.

Soon he couldn´t take anymore and he pulled her face up to his and kissed her. The kiss was desperate and with it he tried to say all the things he was afraid to say out loud.

Her shirt, or rather his shirt, fell to the table behind her. His hand expertly unclasped her bra and it fell away revealing her breasts to him.

He drew in a shuddering breath before leaning forward to place a kiss over her heart. Her hands caressed his back, lightly scraping her nails along as she went.

He lingered there, before the temptation proved to be to much and his lips slid down to her breast, pressing a kiss against it´s side before his lips closed around a nipple.

She moaned and the sound made him grip her hips and pull them roughly against his own, letting her feel what she did to him, and what he wanted to do to her.

He was driven by a deep need to dominate her completely, to possess her to the exstent that she was unable to think of anything but him and the way he made her feel. Thoughts of her and Owen returned and his hands tightened on her hips.

Well he wouldn´t get a chance to touch her again, he would make sure of that.

His lips left her breast to press roughly against her mouth, he could tell he took her by surprise by the sudden change of pace, but jealousy was making his blood boil even more and fire was running through his veins.

He broke the kiss and meeting her eyes he placed a hand in the middle of her chest, pushing her to lay back against the table. She did so voluntarily, her eyes filled with so much trust his heart clenched tightly in his chest.

She was a sight to behold, her dark hair splayed around her like a halo, lips swollen from his rough kisses and marks from his lips and teeth on her neck. She was so beautiful, and she was his.

Her eyes beckoned him closer and he leaned over the table, putting some of his weight on her, they both moaned when their bare chest met. He raised himself up on his arms over her and placed a kiss against her forehead.

"Michael"

His name coming from her lips in that breathy tone made him harder than he ever thought possible and he pressed his hips against hers, feeling her do the same. Togheter they pushed and pulled, creating a friction that was unbearable, but at the same time exactly what they needed.

"Yes?" His voice was nothing more than a deep growl against her throat.

"I want you"

His cellphone rang. They both stilled, Michael breathing harshly against her throat.

"Ignore it" He told her.

It stopped ringing and he let his tongue trace around one of the bruises on her neck.

The homephone started ringing and he growled in frustration.

"Michael..." Nikitas voice was breathy and soft.

"They can wait" he told her continuing to kiss her neck, each kiss harder than the one before, almost as if he knew their time was running out.

It stopped ringing and the answering machine picked up.

"Michael are you there? You need to come in right away, it´s very important. I mean it man, hurry the fuck up before Percy has all of our heads!" click.

Birkhoffs voice served to make Michael stop his ministrations on Nikitas neck, and when he hung up Michael sighed and leaned his head down against Nikitas neck, trying to calm down. He pulled back and tried to meet her eyes, but she wouldn´t look at him.

"Nikita"

The sound of her name snapped her in to action and she sat up, causing Michael to stand up.

She quickly pulled his shirt on, buttoning it.

"I´m sorry but I..."

"It´s okey Michael, I get it, you have to go".

"Hey hey, look at me" he tried to meet her gaze "It´s not that I want to go, you know that, but if I don´t go, they will come looking for me".

"Of course they will" Nikita sighed, and still avoiding his gaze jumped down from the table and tried to get around him, but he grabbed her arm, forcing her to a stop in front of him.

"Don´t be like that"

"Like what Michael? Like I´m being pushed aside for Percy and division once again?"

He sighed in frustration and let go of her arm to run his fingers through his hair.

"I can´t get in to that with you right now Nikita, I have to go"

"Go then. Run back to your beloved Percy and do his bidding once again"

"It´s not..." He didn´t get any further before Nikita marched from the room.

He stormed after her only to be met with his bedroom door being slammed in his face and the sound of the lock turning.

"You´re kidding me" he muttered. "Nikita, open this door now!"

No sound came from the room, he glanced at the clock and sighed for the uptenth time that night.

"Don´t think this is the last of it, when I get back you better be here and then we´ll talk". Still no sound "I mean it Nikita".

"We´ll see about that" Her tone was breezy and it instantly pissed him off.

Gritting his teeth he spoke slowly.

"You better be here when I get back".

When he didn´t get an answer he turned and walked back to his office quickly dressing and grabbing his gun. When he reached the front door he hesitated for a second before activating the alarm. Better safe than sorry. With one last glance at the locked bedroom door he walked out closing and locking the door behind him.

**Puh. I didn´t expect to be finished this soon, but I just couldn´t stop lol. Don´t be mad at Nikita, she´s just frustrated, who wouldn´t be ;) Hugs to you all!**


	7. Problems & Solutions

**Have I mentioned that I love the hotness that is Shane West? I own nothing**

Michael went straight to Percy when he arrived at division. Birkhoff looked up briefly when he passed by but quickly returned his attention to his work when Michael glanced at him.

"Come in Michael"

"You wanted to see me"

"Yes, we have received intel that Owen is in a hospital down town"

Michael didn´t flinch.

"I see. Was he shot by one one of us?"

"Oh no, nothing like that. Appaerently he was involved in a bar fight in which he suffered a concussion and a few broken ribs, he´s been there for a few hours already so time is off the essence before he escapes or Nikita extracts him".

"It seems odd, what was the fight about?"

Years of being in first the military and then division had taught Michael to lie without flinching, and he knew that he had to question the story, anyone would be able to tell there was something wrong with this picture.

"I don´t know yet, that´s what I want you to find out".

"Yes sir"

They shared a look before Michael turned to leave.

"And Michael" He turned to look back at him " I wanted it done yesterday"

Well okey then. Michael nodded and left.

"Birkhoff"

"Jeez Mike. You can´t sneak up on a guy like that" he clutched at his heart.

"Don´t call me Mike"

"Sorry. Michael".

"You have intel on Owens location"

"Yeah hold on... he´s at angelhearts hospital downtown, I´ll give you directions as you go, oh and remember Michael, Percy wants him alive. there´s no time for... Michael?"

He was alone.

"Hello"

The nurse looked up from her chart and gaped at the handsome man before her. He was completely dressed in black, and looked like he had just rolled out of bed, in a good way. She tried to compose herself enough to speak.

"Oh! Uh, hi, I mean hello. Can I help you with something?"

"I´m looking for my cousin Owen Kravechi? He was involved in a fight, again, and I just wanted to see if he was okey"

"Yes he´s here, I´m sorry but his doctor wants him to rest right now, can you come back later?" She smiled.

"Oh I see, It´s just that... Well, his mother wanted me to speak to him. He has gotten into a lot of trouble lately and she´s very worried about him. I don´t know, I feel bad for him, he has been through a lot, but at the same time he shouldn´t worry his mother so much, she´s turning 57 next week and we kind of wanted to have a birthday party, but I doubt she will be up for it now".

The nurse nodded, sympathy showing in her eyes.

"I don´t know, he´s not 15 anymore, he needs to come to terms with everything and straighten out, but I don´t know if he can if I´m honest".

He dragged a hand through his hair and sighed.

"I´m sorry, I shouldn´t burden you with this, I just thought maybe I could help him, or at least talk to him. Make him see that he´s throwing his life away"

He saw that she was hesitating and leaning slightly over the desk he noticed a framed picture. It was a close up, with the nurse, he glanced at her nametag, Sarah, and a little boy. There was no man in the picture.

"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if his wife hadn´t left him... Ever since she left with their little boy he´s been out of control, he really loves that boy" He took a chance "She met someone else and left faster than he could blink".

Bingo. Her eyes turned a little blank and she put her hand over her mouth.

He sighed and shaked his head.

"I know, it´s awful right? What kind of person does something like that? Just turn their back on someone who loves them..." he looked up at her then

"Oh I´m so sorry, I didn´t mean to make you upset"

"No no that´s okey, it´s just that, I´ve been through something similar myself, not that long ago"

"I´m sorry" his voice sincere.

"That´s okey, you couldn´t have known, it was probably for the best. Anyway, maybe you can see him for a little while, and talk to him. It would be awful if he let this ruin him."

"That would be great, thanks. You don´t know what this means, for his mother I mean, she´s so worried about him"

"I understand, it´s a mothers nature to worry about their children" she blinked at him.

"I guess you´re right"

She came around the counter and started to lead him down the hall.

"Do you know what the fight was about anyway? He was beat up pretty bad" She told him, the distaste clear in her voice.

"No I don´t really know, probably about a girl, problem is, he just dosen´t know when to stop"

She hummed and nodded sympathetically.

"Probably trying too hard because he´s hurting"

"Well he´s gonna have to learn sometime"

"You´re right about that. Here we are, he might still be asleep, in that case you can wait in his room until he wakes if you want, they gave him something to sleep on since he was so anxious, he hasn´t been awake since"

"That´s alright. Thank you so much Sarah"

She blushed and stumbled back to her workplace after murmuring a quick goodbye.

Michael slowly turned the knob and stepped inside.

He closed the door behind him and turned to face the bed where Owen was just sitting up, meeting his eyes.

Nikita was bored. This was not like her, sitting around waiting for a man. Oh but this wasn´t just any man her heart whispered to her, this is Michael. Still, she shouldn´t be here. What if someone from division decided to stop by? But why would they ,her heart whispered. They don´t know that you´re here, trust Michael.

She argued with herself over which course to take. Michael wanted her to stay here, well she thought, maybe that´s reason enough to leave... But they needed to talk about what had happened. And about what was going to happen now. Besides her heart argued, her head was still throbbing dully, and she felt tired. How strange that you didn´t feel any of those things when you were busy feeling up Michael her mind mocked her.

She sighed and fell back on the bed.

Why hadn´t Owen checked in? And what was Michael doing? Birkhoff had sounded pretty agitated when he called Michael. Well, agitated for Birkhoff anyway. She hoped everything was okey.

"Michael"

"Owen"

"We have to stop meeting like this"

"Oh, you don´t have to worry about that"

"What, you come to finish the job"

"I guess you could say that"

"Oh please, I know Percy wants me alive. You´re hands are tied, so to speak"

Michael circled around the bed.

"The thing is Owen... I´m not here because of Percy... You know why I´m here"

"Nikita"

"It was really stupid of you, to think that I wouldn´t know, or see".

"Does she know? Does she know that you´ve come here to kill me?"

Michael didn´t answer and instead produced a needle with a veil with some clear fluid in it from his pocket.

"I´ll take that as a no"

Michael took a hold of his drop and pierced the tube with the sharp needle, preparing to push the fluid in, pausing to look down at him coldly.

"Goodbye Owen"

"Knock knock" The door opened and Michael quickly put the needle back in his pocket turning to face the door, behind him Owen struggled to sit up straight.

In came Rohan in doctors coat, barely concealing the weapons at his waist.

"What´s taking so long, we need to leave"

Michael sighed in frustration, motioning for Owen to get up. He struggled to stand and Michael took a hold of his arm in a firm grasp, pulling him upright. While Rohan was busy making sure the hallway was cleared Michael whispered to Owen, his grip around his arm tightening to a point where the bone was protesting.

"Consider this your lucky day. If you speak one word about anything, and I mean anything you´re not supposed to, I´m going to make sure what happened in Ukraine seem like a tap on the head. You got that?"

Owen nodded.

"Good. Move it."

Rohan motioned them forward and under his watchful eye they were soon seated in the van heading back to division.

Percy was waiting for them when they got back. Michael led Owen up to him and stopped.

"Good work Michael. Put him in room 5, me and Owen have a long talk ahead of us"

Michael pushed him along, stopping when Percy spoke again.

"Oh, Owen, since it´s been a while since we last saw you, Amanda would like to speak with you as well. She missed you"

Percys smile was as chilling as alone time with Amanda was, but Owen was trained to not show emotion, and he simply nodded, even though it wasn´t a request.

"Michael, my office when you´re done".

After having left Owen in Rohans gentle care, he ventured into Percys office.

"Owen is in place"

"What took you so long to get him?"

"I had some trouble getting in to his room"

"It was really stupid of him to let himself be taken to the hospital, perhaps he had passed out, I thought he was trained better than that".

Michael didn´t answer, he wasn´t expected to.

"Anyway, he will tell us everything he knows in due time, and maybe then we can finally close the book on Nikita as well"

Percy glared at him.

"That particular issue have taken much too long already"

"She´s good"

"I thought you were better"

"Time will tell" Michael stated.

"I guess you´re right, just as long as it gets done"

Percy motioned for him to sit in one of the chairs and sat down behind his desk.

"There is something else as well"

Michael tensed. Percy continued.

"Carter has resurfaced"

Carter. A weapons dealer with no mercy and no sympathy. He had been a thorn in divisions side for a long time. The last time they had tried to take him in had been just before Nikita was recruited if he remembered correctly. The operation had failed, and Carter har gone in to hiding, until now. Of course Percy didn´t want to kill him, he wanted to turn him.

"I want you to find him and bring him in"

Well then, why didn´t you just say so, I´ll get right on it. Michael sighed to himself.

"Of course. It might take some time."

"Yes, and remember, he´s paranoid because of what happened last time, you have to work to get close to him, he´s always surrounded with people who´s getting paid a lot to keep him safe, you have to go in alone, otherwise he´ll suspect and bolt, and we can´t have that"

"I understand"

"Birkhoff will call when the intel is complete"

He took the dismissal for what it was and left. What the hell was he going to do now. He had leave for an OP in maybe hours or days, and Nikita was still at his apartment. At least he hoped she was still at his apartment, and Owen was locked in division. This was turning out to be a complicated mess. It was too dangerous to leave her there while he was gone, who knew how long it was going to take, but if she left he couldn´t protect her, and she was injured. Okey, not seriously, she would be as good as new in a day or two, but still. And, he couldn´t risk her doing something stupid and dangerous while he was gone, like trying to rescue Owen when he failed to make contact.

There was only one option, he had to bring her along.

He was going to fly solo, which meant he wouldn´t have much contact with division or them with him until the mission was complete. She could be right there with him, and he could keep an eye on her. He could only hope that he was able to keep his hands to himself and able to concentrate on the mission at hand, if this ended badly they would have more problems than they could handle on their plate.

Now all he had to do was convince her.

He arrived home and after deactivating the alarm he opened the door and walked in, hanging up his jacket and tossing the keys on the table.

"It´s me" He called out, letting her know that he was alone. He went in to the living room and found her sitting on the couch facing him. He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. Their eyes locked on each others and neither spoke for a while. He cleared his throat.

"You stayed"

"We need to talk"

"We do".

They stared at each other, the space between them crackling with tension.

Michael decided that there was no time like the present.

"I need your help"

That was the last thing she expected.

"What´s going on?"

"Carter"

Nikitas eyes widened. Every operative in division had heard of Carter, and the monumental failure division had suffered during their last dealing with him.

"He´s surfaced?"

"Yeah. Percy wants me to track him down and bring him in. Problem is, I don´t want to leave you here, unprotected while I´m gone"

"Michael..."

"I mean it Nikita. Anything could happen while I´m away, this is serious, Percy could come knocking at any time" at her sceptical look he rolled his eyes "you know what I mean. But,"

She looked at him.

"You could come with me, it´ll be like old times" His smile almost reached his eyes.

He could sense her hesitation and wondered if it was the thought of hunting Carter or the thought of hunting Carter with _him _that was troubling her.

"Alright. I´ll come with you"

He sighed in relief.

"Nikita...about before..."

Her cheeks burned, but she kept her gaze steady and locked on his.

"We have to concentrate on this, I need to focus on getting this mission done, and that means that I can´t let myself lose sight of the end game".

She blinked.

"I have to apprehend Carter and bring him in, I can´t let you distract me from doing that"

"What are you saying Michael?"

She had to make him say it didn´t she.

"I´m saying that what happened before can´t happen again. I´ll be in charge of this mission and your safety, I can´t let anything compromise that".

Same old Michael. Trying to keep her close, but not to close. Was he never going to realize that he wasn´t her trainer anymore and that she was a big girl now? Talk about control issues.

"Of course not. You do what you think is best Michael" And I´ll do what I think is best she added silently to herself.

He stared at her from his place against the wall, dark eyes drilling into hers. She stared back, the air thick with tension.

**I have no idea what Owens last name is, that name came to mind, now that I think about it it could be from prison break? Anyway, I wanted to show a more ruthless side to Michael. We all know he didn´t commit a crime to end up in division, but still he joined for a reason (even though it´s understandable that he would want revenge), and he´s done things that aren´t exactly noble. So he had no qualms about playing on a nurse´s unhappy memories or trying to kill a medicated Owen. I hope you liked this chapter, it was a bit difficult to write :S**


	8. Scary Movie

**Here we go... I own nothing except this plot...**

The atmosphere was tense after Michael and Nikitas conversation. Neither knew where the other one stood or how they should act. Since Michael was on downtime until the mission started he couldn´t exactly go to division either. Not that he wanted to, no matter what he said to Nikita he was silently happy that she was here, at his place, with him. Thinking along those lines were never a good idea, so he tried to keep himself occupied by cleaning up the mess he had left in his office before he was called away to division.

Unfortunately, being in that room and seeing his things on the floor only made him remember how they got there, and everything else that had happened. He closed his eyes and groaned. Would this ever stop? He had been attracted to Nikita from the first moment he met her, and keeping that attraction in check while he trained her and worked with her was nearly impossible, and now, after she had been missing from his life for three long years it was even harder.

He didn´t even know how Nikita felt about them. Oh he knew she wanted him, even without the

incident leading to the current mess on his floor , he had always known. It was probably the one thing she couldn´t lie about to him. But other than that he didn´t know... not how she felt now, and not before... and there was Daniel... Thinking about him caused him to feel slightly nauseus so he quickly pushed that thought away.

Nikita was still here at least, and she had agreed to go with him. But she might have an ulterior motive of course. And, then there was Owen.

Nikita would want to know how he was, she probably wondered already. If only he could keep her out of the loop until they were off on their mission. She probably wouldn´t leave then. And if she did, well, he would have to find a way to keep her from leaving.

After taking a shower Nikita felt almost good again, she was a little sore but that was to be expected she thought. After getting dressed in sleep shorts and a tank top she decided to see what Michael was up to. She felt a little bad that she had taken over his bedroom, even though she hadn´t been aware of it at first. Opening the door she almost ran into Michael who was preparing to knock.

His gaze swept over her, taking in the short shorts showing off her legs, and lingering a little. She thought she saw his jaw clench but when he looked into her eyes he seemed as calm and collected as ever.

"I thought we could watch a movie"

He was dressed in dark jeans which hung lossely on his hips and a black tshirt. He looked good. Better than good. She swallowed.

"What did you have in mind?"

He held up two movies and she leaned closer to see.

"Carrie? Halloween? Michael."

Nikitas voice was stern.

"Oh come on Nikita"

He smiled.

"Michael, I´m afraid of scary movies"

"I know, but still, these aren´t _that _scary, and besides I thought maybe you had grown out of it"

"Well I haven´t" She crossed her arms over her chest "What are they about then?"

"Well, Carrie is about a girl wanting revenge on her former classmates..."

"No".

"No?"

"Not that one"

"Okey then, this halloween movie.."

"This halloween movie?"

"Uh yeah there are quite a few of them.."

"There are several?" Nikita sounded slightly faint

"Yeah, a lot of them" Michael grinned

"Oh"

They walked to the livingroom, Nikita trailing behind Michael reluctantly.

"So, what are these movies about then?"

Michael bent down to put the movie in the dvd.

"Well, every halloween movie is about Michael Myers who is a serial killer who is slightly, well a lot, crazy. He usually runs amok and kills a lot of people and so on"

Michael noticed her eyes widening and the way she seemed ready to run from the room at any given moment.

"It´s not that bad"

"I´ve heard that before"

"Still, I think this is pretty good"

"Michael. You´re addicted to horror movies. Don´t ask me why. You think they are all good"

He shot her a look.

"That´s because they usually are"

"Whatever" She shrugged.

He motioned for her to sit down on the couch and she did, although reluctantly.

"I can´t even believe you´re afraid of scary movies. You´re a trained assasin who barely blinks in the face of danger"

"That´s different" she argued "It´s something about the build up. Not to mention the horrible music that´s always there before someone gets chopped into pieces". She shuddered.

"The build up is part of the thrill, you know it´s going to happen, but not when. Keeps you on your toes"

Their eyes met and Michael shut his mouth. After a long moment he cleared his throat.

"Anyway, it´s supposed to be one of the best of the halloween movies"

"Somehow that dosen´t make me feel better"

He smiled and laughed.

"I´ll go get some popcorn, can´t have a movie night without popcorn"

"At least something to look forward to" she muttered

He returned with a big bowl of popcorn and some sodas and placed them on the table in front of the couch. She scooted away to make room for him, and he sat down beside her. He was still close so she scooted further away, earning a small grin from him.

He started the movie and she grabbed a pillow, just in case, while he placed the bowl of popcorn between them. The music started and she shuddered, gripping the pillow tightly.

He glanced at her, a small smile still in place.

"Scared?"

She glared at him, shrinking back against the couch even more.

"No" she replied stubbornly

At his look she sighed.

"Yes"

His gaze intensified and his face, which had been smiling before was now somber.

"Don´t worry, I´ll protect you"

She held his gaze and and whispered.

"I know"

He nodded and held her gaze for a few seconds more before they turned back to watch the movie.

Back at division everything was quiet. Percy was in his office enjoying a shot of whiskey and contemplating recent events. He wondered if he had made the right choice to assign this mission to Michael. He was needed here, he could be useful around Owen. And if Nikita should decide to free him, Michael could come in handy... Still, this mission was important. He wanted it to be a success. No, he needed it to be. And for that to happen he needed his best agent on the case. And with Owen here Nikita could hardly follow Michael and sabotage that mission. At least he didn´t think so, you never knew with Nikita. She was as devious as a fox. He hoped he would get a chance to speak with her soon, he looked forward to it.

They were an hour in to the movie and Nikita was hiding behind the pillow and Michael was laughing at her.

"You can look now"

Nikita looked up just as Michael Myers appeared before one of the probably future victims. She screamed and dove behind her pillow. Making Michael laugh again. She hit him, still hiding behind her pillow as if it were a shield.

"You´re an asshole!"

"I was just kidding! Take it easy"

"It´s not funny Michael!"

"I know I know, I´m sorry okey. Here, have some popcorn"

He handed her the bowl and she grabbed some and chewed trying not to look at what was happening on the tv. Of course that was impossible and soon she was hiding again. Michael tapped her on the shoulder and she jumped.

"I´m sorry. Come here"

He motioned for her to scoot closer to him and she did so, warily. When she was close enough he slung an arm over her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

She looked up at him. He didn´t meet her eyes.

"Just being a good friend"

A good friend she thought? Really Michael?

Nikita disregarded her former shield and hired Michael as her new one. Her face was almost always hidden against his shoulder, her hands clutching at him as if she was trying to crawl into his lap. In which she almost was anyway. Michael didn´t seem to mind, he kept pulling her closer. When the movie finally ended Nikita sighed in relief.

"See was that so bad?" Michael asked

"Shut up"

It was rare to see Nikita like this, so open and relaxed. He liked it. A lot. He couldn´t resist teasing her though.

"You were shaking like a leaf" A teasing smile.

"I was not, you jerk"

"Oh okey then, I guess you won´t have any trouble going to sleep then"

"Of course not. Thank you for tonight. It´s been a pleasure"

Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. He smiled.

"Anytime"

Seeing Michael smile, really smile, was a beautiful thing that didn´t happen to often. And the few times she had witnessed it she had felt so... proud? That she had been apart of it. This time was no exception. She couldn´t help but smile back.

"Oh! I almost forgot! Where are you sleeping?"

He looked confused for a second before he realized what she meant.

"I´ll crash here on the couch"

"No no, I can´t kick you of your own bedroom Michael, I´ll take the couch"

"It´s okey Nikita, I like sleeping here, really"

At her doubtful look he continued.

"I´m serious, now get to bed so I can get some sleep"

"Alright, if you´re sure?"

"I am"

"Okey then, good night Michael"

She turned and left.

"Night Nikita"

Michael woke up in the middle of the night to a scream. Without thinking he grabbed one of his guns from his hiding place and sprinted towards his bedroom and flung the door open. Nikita was in bed, appaerently having a nightmare, she sat up at the sound of him crashing through the door.

"Michael!" She gasped

He quickly put the gun away and in a few quick strides reached the bed and sat down at her side. As soon as he sat down she flung herself into his arms, gripping him tightly.

"I´m here" he whispered soothingly "It´s okey, I´m here"

He held her close and rubbed soothing circles on her back until she stopped gasping. She sighed and relaxed her grip on him and leaned back to look up at him.

"I´m sorry" she whispered

"You have nothing to be sorry about, do you want to talk about it?"

She burrowed her face back against his chest shaking her head.

"It´s so stupid"

He let his hands runt through her hair.

"No it´s not, tell me"

She sighed.

"It IS stupid. I was dreaming about that guy Myers, he was chasing me and I ran, but then he called out to me and for some reason I turned around and it wasn´t Myers anymore, it was Percy and he was holding..."

Without noticing tears had started to trail down her cheeks and Michaels grip around her tightened.

"He..." But she couldn´t continue

"Tell me" he whispered "what did he do?"

But she couldn´t continue. Talking about it made it feel even more real.

"Hold me" She whispered

And he did. He stroked her hair, her back and brushed his fingers over her cheeks, whiping away her tears. She couldn´t stop shaking and he pressed her even tighter against him to calm her down.

"It´s okey Nikita, you can tell me"

She shook her head. She couldn´t tell him. If he knew what her worst nightmare was about... In her mind she relived her dream, she turned around and saw Percy, holding Michael with a gun to his head. She felt her lips form the words _NO, _but no sound was heard. And then he pulled the trigger and she screamed. Only now, she again started to shake violently and Michael pulled back to look at her, a concerned look on his face.

She avoided his gaze and instead pressed her face to his neck, inhaling his smell. Michael stiffened. She glanced down and saw that her shorts had ridden up high on her thighs, exposing almost every inch of her legs, and she was almost in his lap. Like when they were watching the movie, only this time it felt different. Maybe because he was only wearing black boxers and a tshirt. A tingle ran along her spine.

She looked up and saw that Michaels gaze was focused on her lips. She licked her lips slowly, his eyes followed the motion. They leaned forward at the same time, their lips meeting in a chaste kiss. For a few seconds they stilled. Both of them savoring the taste and feel of the other. Then Michaels tongue touched her lips and the inferno started.

The kiss turned passionate, Michaels hand grabbed the back of ner neck and trailed through her hair, making her moan. She inched closer and she was now in his lap, and he was hard, and he was right where she needed him.

Michael broke the kiss with a gasp.

"Nikita"

She bit down on his neck. She needed him so much. To feel that he was still here with her.

Michael groaned and lifted her off his lap and quickly stood up and backed away.

"Michael..."

Nikitas voice was needy, and she didn´t care one bit. She held out her hand. Michael glanced down at it and continued to back away.

"I´m" He swallowed "I´m sorry Nikita, I can´t do this"

He looked at her stricken face and wanted to scream and rage. Instead he swallowed hard and turned for the door. Nikitas voice stopped him.

"Michael please" he didn´t turn around, he stood with his back to her and his eyes closed, wishing for a strength he knew he didn´t possess."Please".

He couldn´t take this. He couldn´t stay here and not be with her. He knew what would happen if he stayed, and where would that lead them? To an early grave most likely. And it was the thought of her, still and cold that gave him the push he needed to step out the door. He didn´t turn around when he spoke, not daring to tempt fate.

"I´m sorry Nikita" He took a deep breath. "I just, think it´s better this way"

Without turning around he closed the door behind him. If he had turned around he would surely have changed his mind. Nikita was staring at the now closed door. A stricken look on her face and tears in her eyes. Sitting alone in the middle of Michaels bed, she cried. She had lost count of all the times now, and all for him. She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned her head down. Couldn´t he see that she needed him? The nightmare flashed in her mind again but she tried to push it away, it was all too much. She was shaking. She needed him to make her see that he was here, and that he wasn´t going anywhere, but instead he left. Leaving her alone. The one image from her dream floated around again and she beat her palms against her head in an effort to stop it. Oh Michael.

Hours later when the tears had dried and she was laying curled under the covers she decided that no more tears was going to be shed. Michael made his choice, now he could live with it. He had trained her to be the best, and she was one of the best. Surely she could handle this? It hurt though, that he obvioulsy didn´t want her as much as she wanted him... _make him want you... _a voice inside her whispered, _show him what he´s missing, what he rejected... _The voice sounded disturbingly a lot like Amandas but she chose not to dwell on that at the moment. Could she do it? Make the collected Michael lose control?

Michael was sitting on the couch, hearing Nikita cry. It hurt so much that he wanted to carve his own heart out to relieve some of the pain, though he doubted it would help. He had hurt her. He knew he had. But he´d panicked and hadn´t known what to do. He only knew what he wanted, and that wasn´t an option, so he had run, like a coward. He sneered at himself. Nikitas crying increased and he groaned and grabbed his head, trying to shut out the sound of her pain.

For hours he sat there, taking in her pain. He had stood up several times intending to go to her but forced himself down again, grabbing on to the couch with so much force it protested. Suddenly, it was quiet and he glanced up, figuring she had fallen asleep. He looked toward the closed door, his heart aching to hold her, his body begging to be near her.

Sleep didn´t come for Michael that night.

**Oh the misunderstandings... I borrowed the line "I´ve heard that before" from the episode "Dark Matter".**

I know Nikita is pretty OC in this chapter, but I guess I kind of picture her this way when it comes to love. In the next chapter though she will be more like herself again! So what did you think?


	9. Moscow

**Thank you so much for all the reviews guys, you´re great :D As usual these characters don´t belong to me..**

Nikita woke the next morning feeling much better. She had done a lot of thinking last night and she was now feeling very clear headed. It was obvious now that on some level Michael wanted her, at least physically, but for some reason he refused to give in to that feeling, why, she didn´t know.

She was embarrased by her behaviour last night, she certainly didn´t have any problems giving in while Michael was practically unaffected, but that was going to change. From now on there would be no more crying, no more begging, at least not from her side she thought. She was going to make Michael so crazy that nothing else mattered.

Of course it wouldn´t be easy. Nothing with Michael ever was. But she was nothing if not determined. And it helped to know that he wanted her. She could work with that.

With a smile on her lips Nikita showered and dressed.

Walking out into the kitchen Michael was leaning against the sink, watching her. Even though he looked like ha hadn´t slept much he was still gorgeous in his jeans and tshirt, it was unfair really.

Michael was tired. He had barely slept and he had no idea what kind of mood Nikita would be in once she woke. As a peace offering he had made breakfast, though he doubted that would help him. So he was shocked when she came out from her bedroom with a small smile on her face. His bedroom, his. When did he start thinking about it as hers?

"Hey" He put a cup of coffee down in front of her.

"Good morning Michael"

This was... strange... she didn´t sound angry. She sounded calm... Wanting to get it out in the open he spoke.

"Nikita, about last night..."

She was quick to interrupt him though.

"Oh don´t worry about it Michael. I get it, okey. No need for explainations"

"Still, I want to explain..."

"Really, there´s no need. Just forget about it, I have"

Had she? Then why couldn´t he do the same.

"Oh"

"Yeah so there´s no need to talk about it I promise" Nikita laughed lightly "let´s just concentrate on the mission"

"Oh"

What was this? Had he not only lost his backbone but also his ability to form sentences as well?

"This coffees great, just the way I like it"

He nodded, still lost in his own thoughts when the phone rang.

"It´s a go. Leave for Moscow now"

"Yes. I´ll be in touch"

He was about to hang up when Percy´s voice stopped him.

"And Michael, I know I don´t have to tell you how important this is"

Michael smirked. Same old Percy.

"Of course not"

"Good. Have a good flight"

With that he hung up and Michael turned to Nikita who was watching him closely.

"We leave for Moscow as soon as possible".

"Ah, dear old Moscow" she nodded.

Their eyes met, both of them realizing that this could very well be the last time they stood here, togheter. Nikita cleared her throat.

"Well I better get ready"

She turned and walked back to the bedroom leaving Michael to stare after her.

When they arrived in Moscow they headed straight to their hotel. Michael had rented a car, claiming it was so much easier than flagging taxis all the time. She had to admit he had a good point.

Pulling up to their hotel they parked and got their room keys. They hadn´t spoken much since they left the U.S, Michael was still confused and wondering what Nikita was up to. He usually knew what she was feeling, knew her, even after spending three years apart he still knew, but not now.

Nikita wandered around their room, mentally going over the plans while Michael paid the bellboy for his troubles. It was a pretty room with dark colors, it looked old, but at the same time new. She looked into the bathroom where she discored a giant tub, she looked at it longingly and sighed and walked back to the main room.

"Now what?"

"Now we wait for Birkhoff to contact me"

"So what´s our cover if anyone asks?"

Michael looked down and then up at her.

"You´re my girlfriend and we are here because you´ve always loved Russia and everything in it"

At her look he hastened to explain.

"It was more suitable than brother and sister"

"Of course"

She smiled at him like she knew something he didn´t.

Nikita laughed inwardly, this was working out great. Now she had an excuse to touch him, at least when they were in public.

Michaels phone rang, it was Birkhoff.

"His contact is arriving in two days, I´ll contact you with specifics then".

"Thanks Birkhoff"

He snapped the phone shut and turned to look at Nikita who was busy unpacking her things and hanging her clothes in the closet.

"That was Birkhoff, the contact arrives in two days, he´ll contact me then, uhm.. why do you have so many dresses?"

"Oh well you never know what a mission can require, so I thought it best to be prepared"

"I see" No, he really didn´t. He noticed one dress hanging in the back. "Isin´t that...?"

Nikita looked up, suddenly somber.

"Yeah"

"I didn´t know you still had it"

"It´s kind of my good luck charm, it´s seems to work well for me" She winked at him, making him flinch and her laugh.

Trying to pull himself togheter he began unpacking his own clothes grumbling to himself:

"I´ll say..."

Behind him Nikita smiled.

They decided to head down to the bar and then check out their surroundings. Michael headed out first claiming he had some things to take care of, and they agreed to meet down in the bar.

Nikita chose a dark blue dress for the night, pulling half her hair back and curling it and a light makeup. She headed down for the bar with a smile. Michael would never know what hit him.

"Whisky, dubbel"

Michael was feeling lighter than he had in a long time actually, despite the fact that they were here on a mission, he couldn´t deny that he was happy that Nikita was here with him. He could tell she was up to something though, but what...

He looked up as the bartender whistled. He turned his head and there she was. She was walking toward him, hips swaying, hair bouncing and suddenly he couldn´t pull air into his lungs. She was so beautiful. She always had been, she had a sensuality about her that made people turn and look back at her on the street, or in a bar as was the case now.

She reached him and leaned up to peck his cheek. When she spoke her voice was a husky murmur.

"Honey, you didn´t order anything for me?"

He blinked and tried to pull himself togheter. Their cover. Right.

"I´m sorry love, what can I get you?"

She trailed a hand down his chest slowly.

"Oh you know what I like don´t you..."

Shit.

He coughed and turned to the bartender who still seemed to be starstruck.

"Vodka"

The bartender snapped out of it and quickly poured her a glass.

"Let´s get a table hun, these shoes are killing me"

Michael left a few bills on the bar and turned to lead Nikita over to a nearby table, while the bartender gave him thumbs up.

They sat down in the couch, putting their glasses on the table in front of them, Nikita immediatley scooting closer to him.

"Nikita.." He was slightly breathless, being so close to her.

"What is it Michael?"

"You" He didn´t get any further before Nikita placed a hand on his thigh, letting it slowly trail upwards. With a gasp he caught it and held it tightly in his own.

"What the hell are you doing?" He hissed at her between closed teeth.

"Exactly what we agreed on, I´m your girlfriend remember". She said the last part smugly, reminding him that this had been his brilliant idea.

"That dosen´t mean that you have to groop me in public!"

"Why? Are you shy?"

Now she was just teasing him.

"That´s not it"

"What is it then? Come on Michael, talk to me..."

While she was talking her other hand had snaked around his back and was inching under his shirt to stroke his bare back.

He gasped when she made contact and quickly caught that hand with his other one.

"Stop that!"

"Stop what? Jeez Michael I didn´t know you were so sensitive"

"I´m not sensitive, I just think that there is a time and place for everything and..."

"And what?"

He sighed tightened his grip on her hands.

"Behave"

She grinned.

"And if I don´t? Will you punish me?"

Michael looked up and closed his eyes as if trying to draw strength from some divine power.

"Oh come on Michael" She inched a little closer " It´ll be just like when you trained me, you telling me what to do and punishing me when I didn´t get it right..."

"Yeah well, I think we are talking about a different kind of punishment here"

"Do you know" her vocie had lowered "how many times I was wishing you would be rougher with me while we were training... sometimes you were, and you would throw me down on the floor, pushing me down with your body, making me yield... and the only thing I could think about was your hard body atop of mine..."

He was breathing heavy now, his hands clenching around hers by reflex.

"You must have known that I wanted you Michael, a smart guy like you... you can´t tell me you didn´t notice"

"I noticed" His voice was husky

She leaned forward and placed her lips against his ear and whispered

"Do you want me Michael?"

When he didn´t answer she drew back to look him in the eyes.

What she saw there made her gasp. His eyes were dark and there was a fire raging there that made her feel like she was burning.

"So that´s it" he whispered "that´s what you´re up to..."

"I´m not up to anything Michael, are you?" She cast a meaningful glance at his lap, making his jaw clench.

"Is this some kind of revenge for last night?"

Ticked that she was found out so soon she snapped at him.

"Of course not, you were just being your usual stand offisch self"

"Nikita"

"Michael" She mocked.

"Don´t be like that"

She took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

"I just don´t understand you Michael"

"It´s better if you don´t"

"Better for who?"

Before he could answer they were interrupted by a gentleman in a dark suit clearing his throat.

"Excuse me, would you like to dance?"

The man reached out a hand to Nikita who was about to say no when she caught Michaels glare at the other man and changed her mind. Smiling, she drew her hands away from Michaels and stood up.

"I´d love to"

He led her to the dancefloor and they started to slowly sway to the music, Nikita feeling Michaels glare burn a hole in her back the whole time.

"I´m sorry if I interrupted something back there, but I couldn´t let such a beautiful woman sit at a table all night while people danced around her".

"You´re very sweet...?"

"Andrew"

"Hello Andrew, I´m Nikita"

"Pleased to meet you Nikita"

He pulled her hand up to kiss it, letting his eyes linger on hers. She smiled.

"Likewise"

Michael was angry. He couldn´t believe the nerve of her. First she was coming onto to him, and now she was dancing with some guy with horrible backslicked hair. He almost got up when he saw the guy kiss her hand but he restrained himself.

They danced and he watched. The longer they danced they seemed to drift closer and closer to each other. Finally, he had had enough. He got up and walked over to them, tapping the man on the shoulder.

"May I cut in?"

Andrew looked at Nikita who nodded.

"Well thank you for the dance Nikita, it was lovely. Maybe we´ll run into each other again?"

"You never know" she smiled and dropped his hand "bye Andrew, have a good night"

"Bye Nikita"

Andrew retreated to the bar and Michael pulled Nikita closer to him, capturing her hand with his and placing the other on the small of her back.

"What was that?"

"That Michael, is what some people refer to as a dance"

"Don´t be a smartass"

"Don´t be an asshole" she retorted

"You´re supposed to play my girlfriend you know"

"Well I did that Michael, but you´re never quite happy are you?"

He didn´t answer only pulled her closer. After a while he spoke.

"What do you want from me Nikita?"

Before she could answer him his phone rang. Searching his pockets he quickly found it.

"Michael"

"We have a problem".

"What is it?"

"Owen has escaped"

Well. Fuck.

**I decided to end it there, I never seem to get to the er... action in this story lol. But don´t worry, it´s coming. This chapter was inspired by the best episode so far, "one way". I´m going to continue working on the next chapter now, hopefully I´ll update tomorrow. Hugs!**


	10. Moscow II

**So now we have some problems. Owen is on the loose and Michael seems to be in over his head, or maybe it´s Nikita who´s in over her head LOL. As usual I don´t own them.**

Something was wrong. Nikita observed Michael silentley. Straight after he had finished his phonecall, which had been very brief, he insisted that they head back to their room.

Now they were standing in the elevator and Michael was silent. More so than usual. It made Nikita nervous, something was clearly very wrong, but she would wait until they were alone before demanding he tell her what was going on.

They walked down the hall to their room, Nikita noting that Michael seemed to be on high alert, which made her tense as well. Michael unlocked the door slowly and when Nikita made a move to walk in before him he stopped her with a hand on her arm. She looked at him, questions in her eyes, but he motioned for her to be quiet, and she knew he wasn´t joking. He stepped in before her, looking around, his eyes sweeping over the room.

Nikita was quiet while he searched the room, including the closets and the bathroom. When he was done he turned to her and relaxed.

"What´s going on?" Her voice was calm.

Well that was a tricky question. Since he hadn´t told her about Owen being in the hospital, he himself trying to kill him, being interrupted by Roan and bringing in Owen to division, it would be difficult to explain how he had now escaped their clutches. Would Owen come here? Did he know about this OP? Would he try to sabotage it? Would he come looking for Nikita? How did he even escape? He sighed. What a mess. He needed to contact Birkhoff for more information, he had faked being in the middle of something important when he called before, which he had been, but Birkhoff didn´t need to know what.

Nikita was looking at him with an expectant look on her face, and he knew she wanted answers. He wanted to be honest with her, but how could he? He still didn´t know what was going on with her and Owen, but he had a feeling she would be pretty upset if she found out what he had done, which she probably would, and he hadn´t told her.

She appeared to be calm, but looking into her eyes he knew she was worried. Nikita was good at hiding her emotions, they all were, it was part of their training, but he knew her, probably better than he knew himself. He had to tell her the truth. But he needed more information first.

"Look Nikita..."

"Just tell me Michael".

"I will I promise" he sighed "but I need to do something first okey?"

She was about to protest but stopped when she saw the look in his eyes. He was asking her to trust him. Could she? She wanted too, desperatley. She nodded.

He let out a sigh of relief. He took a few steps forward and reached out a hand to stroke her cheek with the back of his hand.

"I have to go out, I won´t be long, but you have to stay here and wait for me okey?"

"Why can´t I come with you?"

"You just can´t"

She was about to protest but he silenced her with two fingertips against her mouth.

"I will tell you everything when I get back, I promise"

She didn´t want to agree but she still nodded.

"Good"

His eyes lingered on her face before slipping down to her lips. He stroked his thumb over her lower lip and sighed before he reluctantly dragged his hand away and walked to the door. He turned back to look at her.

"Promise me"

"What?" she asked, still in a daze from the feel of his fingers on her mouth.

"Promise me you´ll stay here until I get back"

What was going on?

"I promise"

He nodded and with one last glance at her he walked out the door, locking it behind him.

He left the hotel and started walking down the street. He checked the area, looking for anything out of place but didn´t see anything unusual, just to be safe he walked around the hotel. Finding nothing he again started down the street. He looked at his watch, it had already been almost an hour since he left Nikita and he wanted to get back to her as soon as possible. He dialed Birkhoff.

"It´s Michael"

"Hey Michael, I started to think something was wrong"

"Nothings wrong. I was busy dealing with a possible source when you called"

"Right well, Percys flying off the handle here"

"What went wrong?"

"Well, Owen was going to take us to the black box he said he had stashed, he had 5 agents with him. When they arrived at the hiding place everything went dark, he somehow scrambled our signal for one and a half minute"

"That´s not much" Michael mused

"Enough to take out all the other agents and vanish"

"When was this?"

"Earlier today"

Michael swore.

"And why the hell haven´t you contacted me before?"

"Because we have spent that time trying to track him, Percys convinced that he is going to find Nikita now that he´s out. He wants him to lead us to her. There´s no reason for him to interfere with your mission".

Well of course he didn´t want that, he was trying to find Nikita. The problem was that Nikita was here with him. He had a bad feeling about this, it didn´t feel right.

"Any progress?"

"No not yet, I think... wait".

"What is it?"

"I have a partial face shot from a security camera, it could be him... I´m not sure though"

"Where was he going?"

"Ukraine. He must be making a bogus trail, what would he do there? He must know we are watching all transport to Russia if he was indeed out to sabotage your mission, which I still doubt. Besides, he´s to good to be caught on a camera if he actually wanted to slip away".

Ukraine... there was something about Ukraine...

"I still think he´s trying to fool us. He´s probably still in the U.S. Sorry sir, what?"

Michael was still in his own thoughts while Percy and Birkhoff discussed possible outcomes. Up in the dark sky an airplane was preparing to land on the airport. Airport... It suddenly hit him. While he was in the military he had been sent on a so called hush mission, which meant you didn´t speak of it and very few knew about it, he had been sent to Ukraine where he had been stranded once the mission was over. After contacting their base he had received orders to travel in to Russia, without being seen, for a secondary objective.

He had been given instructions to wait at a specific crossroad, where he was picked up and driven to a small airstrip on the outskirts of Odessa. Offically, it hadn´t been used since World War I, but unoffically... very few new about it though, it was obvious that division didn´t. From Odessa Owen could have traveled to Moscow, Birkhoff was right. Owen was smart, if he fooled division into thinking he was leaving a fake trail, but actually had traveled to Ukraine and knew about the airstrip, if he could avoid the cameras at the airport in Moscow...

"Michael"

"Yes" He snapped out of it.

"Percy say´s you´re going to continue as planned, he´s sending a few people to Ukraine but we don´t expect to find anything"

"I see"

Michael looked at his watch. There was enough time for Owen to travel to Ukraine first, then Russia, if he had left soon after having escaped, it was pretty late now... but how would he now where to start...

"And while you´re there, can you pick me up some of that candy I like, you know, with the chocolate in the middle? They don´t make them exactly right here and..."

It suddenly hit him. The car. They had rented the car at the airport. Had they gotten caught on any tapes? Traffic cameras? He swore. And now the car was parked at the hotel. Where Nikita were. After uttering a harsh curse he hung up on Birkhoff, cutting him off mid sentence and started running down the street back to the hotel.

Nikita was restless. Michael had only been gone for a while but she couldn´t sit still. She wanted to follow him. Yes, she was going to follow him. She got to the door before she paused. Michael had made her promise to stay here until he got back. What difference does a promise make if he´s lying dead somewhere, her mind mocked her.

She raised her hand to the knob but paused again. He had asked her to trust him. Before everything, she had trusted him with her life everyday. But now... could she? She wanted to. So much that it made her heart ache.

She let her hand fall down again.

If she didn´t, if she went after him, would she see that look in his eyes again, the same one he had had when she told him she had accepted Daniels proposal. She couldn´t take that.

Trust him, her heart whispered. Trust that he knows what´s right.

She straightened her back. She would trust him. She had to trust him. If she couldn´t trust him, then who could she trust? Her heart agreed readily.

Turning around she caught sight of the half open bathroom door and she suddenly longed for a shower. It had been a long day. But when she ventured into the bathroom she again caught sight of the tub. After a few second she gave in to temptation and filled the tub with water. On the shelf she found bath foam and she poured a lot of it into the hot water.

She placed her towel on the small chair beside the tub, placing her gun underneath it, just in case, and then got in.

She sighed when the hot water hit her. Soon her muscles relaxed and her mind started to wander. As always when her thoughts wandered they led to Michael...

Thinking about Michael led to thinking about earlier... down in the bar. When she had teased him mercilessly, well, she wasn´t done. Not by a long shot.

Back in division Birkhoff was still grumbling about his candy, which he was now sure would never reach him. All thanks to two rouge agents and one straitlaced one. Well, he could forgive Nikita, she WAS hot after all.

Nikita was almost nodding off, the water felt so good against her tired body. She was mentally going over their mission, not fully relaxed when they were on a mission, a really important one at that. She wondered when Michael was going to be back. Just as she finished that thought she heard the door to the hallway open slowly. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the tub.

She felt the cold air enter the bathroom before she saw the light from the room outside escape in. In a second she had pushed the towel to the ground and leveled her gun at the person standing in the doorway.

"Hello Nikita"

"Owen?"

"In the flesh"

"What are you doing here?" To say she was shocked was an understatement.

"What are _you _doing here?"

"I´m on a mission"

"Same here"

"What mission?" Her eyes widened a fraction. "Oh no no no. Owen, this mission is going to proceed as planned. I´m not here to stop it".

"I gathered that. Anyway that´s not my mission"

"Then what is?" Now she was curious.

"I must say I´m a little hurt you haven´t asked how I´m feeling"

She scoffed.

"Oh please, it wasn´t that bad, I´m sure you´ve had worse"

He shrugged.

"Well yes, still, it was pretty painful"

"What were you even thinking Owen?"

"How was I supposed to know Michael was lurking around in the shadows?"

He had a point. But still.

"And what is the deal with that anyway?"

At this she looked down, as she didn´t know how to answer him. Oh. Right.

"Uhm, could you wait out there?"

She motioned to her towel, meaning she would like to have it. On her that is.

He at least had the decency to look embarrased before he turned away and walked out.

"Sorry"

She quickly got up and wrapped the towel around her and the thought struck her, Michael would be back soon, and if he found Owen here... She sighed and walked out to face him.

"Look, you can´t stay here. I´m not the only one here and..."

"I know. Michael is here too"

"How did you..."

"The car".

"Oh. But you can´t stay here okey? In fact you better leave now"

"Why? Is Michael on his way back?"

She sighed.

"Look Nikita I came here to tell you something that I think you should know"

At his serious tone she glanced up at him.

"What?"

"That night when we were out at the bar, after the fight I ended up in the hospital"

She cringed.

"Michael and an other agent came there to find me. The doctor had drugged me so I had been out of it for a while, and when I woke up Michael was in my room"

Nikita shook her head.

"No, no that´s not possible. He would have told me"

"Nikita. I know it was him. Long story short I ended up back at division in a cozy little room with Amanda as a guest"

No that wasn´t true, it wasn´t. Michael would have told her. He would have. She took a deep breath.

"Owen, you were drugged, are you sure Michael was..."

"It´s kind of hard to forget the man standing above you about to kill you" he snapped.

Her heart stopped. Then started up again. At her stricken look Owen sighed regretfully.

"I´m sorry Nikita. It´s his job but... it felt kind of personal you know"

He sent her a meaningful glance.

"Especially since Percy had ordered them to take me alive" he finished.

The door slammed open and Owen quickly drew his gun. Michael stepped in, gun drawn, eyes blazing. When he spoke his voice was dark and deadly, his words directed at Owen.

"You just made a big mistake"

**The airstrip and other things about Ukraine are made up by me, I know practically nothing about World War I and Ukraine. This was difficult to write for some reason. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it! Hugs!**


	11. Whisky Lullaby

**So we have a pretty tense situation here... Could go either way really.. lol kidding. As usual these charcters don´t belong to me. Thank you all so much for the reviews, it means a lot to me. x. **

"Drop it".

Michaels voice hard, but Owen didn´t flinch.

"Doubtful"

Michaels glance left Owen to look over at Nikita who was standing of to the side.

"You okey?"

He had known where in the room she was the second he walked through the door, but it wasn´t until now that he noticed what she was wearing, or rather, not wearing. His eyes swept over her from head to toe and then back again. He turned his eyes back to Owen.

"You bastard"

"Jeez man, get a grip, she was in the bathtub when I came here"

"Michael" Nikitas voice was cold.

His eyes didn´t leave Owens but he inclined his head slightly in her direction, to show that he was listening.

"Put the gun down"

"No"

Well, so much for listening.

"I said, put the gun down" Nikitas voice had risen in volume.

"What, so he can kill me? I don´t think so"

"Like you tried to kill him?" There, it was said.

Michael stiffened and turned to look at Nikita. Her eyes were cold, but behind that coldness he saw that she was hurt. So he had told her. Figures.

"It wasn´t like that..."

"Oh really? Tell me Michael, what was it like then?"

Her eyes showed her distrust, and his heart clenched. This hurt. Seeing that look in her eyes made him feel ashamed of himself for causing her pain. But still, he had percieved Owen as a threat, and had then made the move to get rid of that threat. What he was a threat against was unclear in his mind, but he didn´t want to think about that now. The point was that he didn´t trust Owen, and he especially didn´t trust him around Nikita.

"I was trying to protect you"

"Protect me? From him?" She jerked her head in Owens direction "you don´t have to protect me from him Michael".

"I think I do"

Seeing how unconcerned he was about everything made Nikitas blood boil.

"How can you stand there and act as if you haven´t done anything wrong? You tried to kill him Michael, while he was drugged I might add! And what were you planning to tell Percy huh?"

Now he started to get angry too, was she really that blind? Didn´t she know he would do anything for her? Kill for her, die for her... Obvioulsy she didn´t, that hurt. More than he could stand. He lashed out.

"Oh please, like you care about that. Why do you even care about him?"

Nikita took a deep breath.

"I value life Michael. Besides, he could be of help to me".

He snorted.

"Help with what I wonder"

"Shut up! Don´t you dare come here and act as if you know everything! Where were you when I was alone, when I needed help, when I was wondering if I was ever going to be able to look in a mirror again without feeling sick to my stomach!"

"Where I was? Where the hell were you? You´re the one who left"

"Oh I wonder why. Why didn´t I stay to be used like I was nothing"

"You could have stayed. I could have helped you, but you didn´t want that"

Nikita heard the sad tone of his voice but she was to angry to care.

"Helped me how Michael? To hide what I was feeling? To ignore what they had done? You know I´m not like that".

The message was clear, she wasn´t like that, he was.

"I did what I thought was best" Michael said, referring to Owen.

Just like old times Nikita thought, Michael did what he thought was best, without asking anyone else.

"Without any thought as to how I might feel about it?"

"You weren´t supposed to know".

Michael shoot a glare over at Owen, who was listening silently.

Honesty at last.

"Michael" he was still looking at Owen "Michael look at me!"

He turned his head to look into her eyes.

"How could you do this?" Her voice now sad.

He didn´t have an answer for her.

Owen had until now been quiet, but he sensed it was time to interrupt.

"Look"

"Shut up!" Michael snapped at him.

"I was just trying to get back at the matter at hand" he defended himself, a scowl on his face.

"The only matter at hand which you are involved in concerns your burial"

"I´d love to see you try" Now Owen was angry too.

"Oh you don´t have to worry about that"

"Shut up the both of you! What is your problem?"

"He started it" Owen sulked.

"Can you two please at least act like your over 12 years old? God".

"I´m sorry Nikita, I´ll contact you later". Owen took a step towards the door.

"You´re not going anywhere". Michaels vocie was hard, and he took a step closer to Owen.

"Michael. Stop it". Nikitas vocie was just as hard as his.

Owens eyes met Michaels. He knew Michael wouldn´t let him go without a fight.

"You don´t want to do this"

Michaels answering smile was chilling.

"I think I really, really want to do this".

"What is your problem? Is it because I kissed her?"

Nikita sighed and rolled her eyes. Michael looked over at Nikita. As soon as his eyes were diverted Owen made his move. He kicked the gun out of Michels hands.

Michael reacted right away and threw a punch to Owens face, making him drop his gun.

Nikita reached for hers which she had left at the livingroom table when she and Owen had started talking.

"Stop it!"

They didn´t listen to her.

A knock on the door was heard, and Michael and Owen paused. Nikita looked over at them in alarm and they quickly stood up and brushed themselfs off, Owen hid the guns and Michael turned on the tv, while she went to open the door, leaving the safety chain on.

"Excuse me miss, a few of the guests complained that shouting was heard from this room. Can I come in?"

Nikita weighted her options. She could deny him, but where would that lead.

"Of course. I´m sorry, I just got out of the shower" she gestured to herself.

The manager entered and looked over at Michael and Owen standing side by side. If he found it unusual to find a half naked woman with two men in one of the rooms, he didn´t show it.

"Everything alright here?"

"Yes I´m sorry for the loud noise, me and my friend just got caught up in the game" he motioned to the tv, where a football game was sending "opposite sides and all that" Michael grinned.

"That´s alright, just keep in mind that it´s late"

"We will I promise" Nikita smiled at the manager and he blushed and moved to the door.

Owen quickly moved to his side.

"Maybe you can help me call a cab from downstairs? It is pretty late and I better get going"

"Certainly sir, right this way"

Michael gritted his teeth.

"Shouldn´t you stay and watch the rest of the game?"

Owen grinned.

"That´s okey, I have a feeling I know how it will end anyway"

"You should get going, we´ll talk soon" Nikitas voice cut through the tension.

Owen looked over at her and winked, making Michael clench his hands.

"I´ll call you"

He disappeared out the door closing it behind him. Michael made a move to follow, but Nikita stood in his way.

"Where do you think you´re going?"

Down in the lobby Owen quickly reassured the manager that he would rather walk instead and quickly left.

Michaels eyes narrowed.

"Nikita. Get out of the way".

"No"

"Get out of the way"

"I said, no"

Michael sighed.

"We are going to talk, and you are going to listen to me". Nikitas voice was cold.

"There is nothing to talk about Nikita. I did what I had to do".

"According to who? You had no reason for doing this Michael"

"No reason? How about I was trying to save your life?"

"That´s not what this is about and you know it"

"Then tell me Nikita, what is this about" He was curious to see how far she was willing to take this.

"It´s about you and me, and your stupid jealousy Michael".

She shivered and was reminded of the fact that she was still only wearing a towel. She cast him a look that meant he was to stay right where he was and took out some clothes and quickly changed in the bathroom, hoping he wouldn´t leave. She returned to see he was still standing where she had left him, maybe he knew they needed to talk.

His eyes did a subtle sweep of her body, hadn´t she been watching him so closely she never would have noticed.

"Do I have something to be jealous about?"

"What do you think Michael?"

"That´s not an answer" He clenched his jaw togheter.

"You shouldn´t need an answer from me"

He really shouldn´t. But it seemed like he still didn´t trust her, and now she felt she couldn´t trust him either. When he didn´t answer she looked into his eyes and saw the conflict there. How had they come to this?

"If you can´t trust me Michael, then I don´t know what we are doing here... Why did you even bring me along? Was it just to keep me from figuring out that division had Owen?"

Michael shook his head.

"No Nikita it wasn´t just about that, I wanted to keep you safe, and I knew if you found out that Owen was at division you would try to free him, no matter what happened to yourself, I couldn´t let that happen, don´t you see that I was trying to protect you?"

"And when you were trying to kill him? What was that about?"

He didn´t answer, just looked away, not wanting to see that look in her eyes. The one that showed how disappointed she was in him.

"I thought so..." Her voice was sad.

"Nikita..."

"No Michael, you didn´t do that for me. You did it for yourself. Can´t you see what division has done to you? You are willing to kill someone, just because you didn´t like what he was doing"

_She put him out_

_Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette_

"Not just anyone Nikita, it´s not like he´s innocent"

"But you think he deserves to die? And for what? For being on my side? Is that it?" Her voice turned soft "why don´t you want someone to help me Michael?"

"It´s not that, it´s just him..."

"What about him? He can help me Michael. But maybe that´s what you are afraid of, that he can help me take down division" She took a deep breath, trying to take back some control of herself. "I always knew you wouldn´t help me, but I didn´t think you would stand in my way when it came down to it"

"I´m not standing in your way Nikita"

"You are. You don´t want anyone to help me, you don´t want me to have someone help me"

In her voice he heard the betrayal she felt, and the soul he thought had died three years ago bled bitter tears.

"Nikita, listen to me..."

"No. I´m done listening to you Michael" She blinked back her tears "I never knew how much you had changed"

Maybe she should have done things different, back when it mattered. It was obvious Michael had changed while she was gone. Maybe it was her fault for leaving him there, in that awful place, where lies were normal and a betrayal meant nothing. Would he have said no, if she had asked him to come with her?

_The rumors flew_

_But nobody knew_

_How much she blamed herself_

She went around him and reached for the door but his hand on her arm stopped her. When he spoke his voice sounded as if he had been screaming for days.

"Nikita" he took a deep breath, forcing air down in his constricted lungs "let me explain, I..."

She shook his hand off and opened the door.

"Nikita _please"_ He begged.

She froze. Michael never begged. Not for anything. For a moment she hesitated. Then the feeling of betrayal and broken trust came back and she took the step forward into the hallway, away from the room, away from him.

"I´m sorry"

Her voice broke on the last word and she walked down the hallway, never looking back. She knew she would never have been able to leave if she had to look into his eyes. If she had looked back, she would have seen the broken look on his face, and the lost look in his eyes.

It was cold outside but Nikita didn´t notice. She was walking down the street, no thought to as where she was going, just walking. She wondered where this numbness came from, she couldn´t feel anything, like she was empty. Maybe she was. She wondered why she couldn´t feel her heartbeat, had her heart stopped beating? Was she alive? She couldn´t tell.

Michael poured himself a glass of whisky. He stared at it, slowly swirling the liquid around. He downed it, and poured himself another. He wondered what had happened to the soul he had felt before. All he could feel inside of him was emptiness.

_We watched him drink his pain away_

_A little bit at a time_

_But he never could get drunk enough_

_To get her off his mind_

**So much angst, but these two are so complicated it takes a while for them to get it right. I actually feel really good about this chapter, I hope you like it to. The lyrics are from a song called "Whisky Lullaby" by Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss.**


	12. Here I am

**It makes me really happy that you seem to like my story, I can´t even tell you how happy every review makes me. Thank you so much. A special thanks to bk-1205 for the help! As usual I don´t own them...**

The numb feeling was starting to slip away, just to be replaced with sadness. Nikita was still walking, she didn´t know where she was, but she started to come back to herself, as if she had been asleep for a long time and just woke up. She was cold. She looked down at herself, she wasn´t wearing a jacket, of course she wasn´t, she had left in a hurry. She wondered if the cold was from the weather or from inside her. Either way it enveloped her, making her whole body tremble.

She lifted her head and looked around her, she was still in the city, walking down an alleyway. Now that she felt more like herself again she started to take notice of things around her. She tried to remember if she had been in this part of town before but she didn´t recognize the streetname.

A shiver ran down her back and she knew something was wrong. She looked around her, at first seeing nothing, but soon human shapes materialized from the dark around her. She was surrounded. She got in a fighting stance, never one to give up, even though the odds were bad, at best.

"Nikita. There´s no point in fighting. Your heavily outnumbered"

"Like that would stop me" Her voice didn´t sound like her own, it was a strangers voice.

The only reply was a chuckle. Then they attacked at the same time. Nikita was a good fighter, one of the best division had ever trained, but even she couldn´t stand against such a large attack at once, not when her body was still sore from her last fight. Still, she fought on, her body moving and twisting as if it was designed for it, which in a way, it was.

She received a punch to her face, making her drop to the ground and before she could move they were on her, holding her down.

She stared up at the dark sky, the stars looking down at her where she lay in a dirty alleyway. Was this it? Was this the place where she would die? Would this be her last breath, her final resting place?

She felt the prick of the needle as if it was a knife, everything felt more intense. Before she closed her eyes she thought of Michael.

Michael was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. The container of whiskey lay in a broken puddle on the other side of the room, behind a broken chair. He figured it was only a matter of time before the manager came knocking again, but he couldn´t find it in him to care. What did it matter anyway.

He wondered where Nikita was. He wondered if she would come back. He didn´t think so. Why would she? He was a mess, a mess to complicated for anyone to deal with, least of all someone like Nikita, who radiated light to everyone around her. He felt like an eclipse to her light.

Where had she gone? How long had she been gone? He had no concept of time, he raised his arm to glance at his watch. He forced himself to concentrate. Was it really that late, she had been gone for two hours already, it felt like she had just left.

He stood up. She had left in a hurry, not taking her gun with her, and she hadn´t fully recovered from her injuries yet. Something was wrong. He could feel it. Something was wrong with Nikita. He couldn´t explain how he knew, he just did. He quickly found his gun and dug through his bag for the others he had with him.

He shrugged his jacket on and left the room.

Standing outside the hotel he paused. He had no idea where Nikita had gone. He thought of taking the car but decided against it, he could travel more freely by foot. He started jogging down the street, his eyes wandering in every direction in search of something unusual but seeing nothing. He searched, he checked every alley he came across, stuck his head in every bar he passed, but nothing.

The feeling of unease grew stronger and his heart was beating frantically in his chest.

He ventured down another alley and once again found nothing. Still he continued. He caught sight of a man hiding behind a garbage can. At first he thought nothing of it. Moscow was full of homeless people, looking for a place to sleep or hide.

He decided to ask him if he had seen a woman with Nikitas description, but when he got closer he realized that he had been wrong. The man was not homeless, at least not if you counted the suit he was wearing. Something was off, his gut was telling him something wasn´t right. When he got closer the man looked up at him and promptly got up and ran.

"Shit" he swore and chased after him. The man was nearing the end of the alley and Michael quickened his step and closed in on him. Just as the man was about to exit the alley a foot struck out and he crashed to the ground holding his knee and wailing.

"Need a hand?" Owens voice rang out.

Nikita came to, only to find herself tied to a chair in the middle of a big room. Her vision was still a bit blurry, she had to concentrate to focus. She tried to take in her surroundings, but she was so tired, and even though she tried to fight it, darkness once again took over.

Michael slowly walked forward to the man wailing on the ground and turned him on his stomach, planting his knee in his back. The man cried out but Michael paid no attention to him.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Same as you" Owen stepped closer.

"And what am I doing pray tell"

"Well I could be wrong, but I´m guessing you´re trying to find Nikita"

Michael glared at him.

"If you´ve done something to her..."

"Of course not. I just happened to hear a few interesting things from a source of mine"

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that rumour has it the famous Carter has napped himself a division agent"

"Nikita" Michael breathed out

"Most likely. Do you think he knows?"

"That she´s gone rogue?"

Owen nodded.

"Probably. He must have known who she was when she was grabbed"

"Maybe he´ll try negoiating with Percy, depending on how much he thinks Nikita knows about divisions secrets"

"Or" Michael sighed "he´ll try to sell her to Percy"

The man under Michaels knee let out a whimper and Michael hauled him up and slammed him against the brickwall.

"Why did you run?"

The man only whimpered in response as Michael pressed down harder against his windpipe.

"Uh Michael"

Michael slammed him against the wall again.

"Why did you run?" he hissed at him.

"Michael" Owen said again.

"What?" Michael snapped at Owen.

Owen nodded at the man who was still struggling to breathe.

"That´s my source"

Michael looked at him and then back at the man.

"I see"

He let go of him, making him fall to the ground wheezing for air.

Michael turned to leave.

"Hey hey, wait a minute. You can´t do this alone"

"Watch me"

Michael continued walking, but stopped when Owen voice reached him.

"Okey then, then I guess you don´t want to know where Carters lackeys wind down after a days hard work"

Michael closed his eyes and sighed before turning around.

"What do you want?"

"I want in"

"Why?" Michaels voice was hostile, showing how much he didn´t trust him.

"Because it´s the right thing to do"

"Try again"

"Because I love a suicide mission"

Michaels eyes narrowed and he turned to leave.

"Okey okey wait, wait"

"I don´t have time for this" Michael growled at him.

"I owe her, okey"

For a few seconds Michael hesitated. But he knew that his chances of finding Nikita would increase if he had help. But did it have to be _him._

"Fine. You can come. But we leave now"

"Of course"

They walked away quickly, their conversation drifting back to the man who was finally able to breathe properly again.

"You stink by the way, what did you do? Shower in Jack Daniels?"

"Shut up"

"Just saying"

When Nikita woke again there was a man standing in front of her. She blinked and tried to regain her focus.

"Good, you´re awake"

She tried to speak but her throat was dry.

"Oh no need to speak yet, the boss is coming in a few hours, then you can talk, or not. Of course it might be better for yourself if you did, but I have to be honest" he smiled at her, a cold smile "I really hope you don´t"

Michael and Owen entered a bar who had seen better days, most of the guests had too. They casually walked over to the bar and ordered.

"So, who´s the guy?" Michael spoke quietly.

"I think, him" Owen did a subtle headnod in the direction of a very large, or rather huge, man sitting in a booth on the other side of the bar.

"You think?" Michael hissed.

"Well we have to find out for sure. I have a plan"

"God help us all" Michael muttered sarcastically.

Owen rolled his eyes and continued.

"I say we pistolwhip him and drag him out of here, keep the others at bay with the guns, then steal a car and travel to a secret location where we can extract the information we need and dispose of him".

Michael stared at him.

Nikita didn´t look up as a glass of water was placed before her.

"I´m not stupid enough to drink that"

"It´s okey, it´s not poisoned"

She looked up and was surprised to see a young man looking back at her.

"Why should I believe you?"

He sighed and sat down in the chair in front of her.

"Because, if they wanted you poisoned, or even dead, they wouldn´t wait for you to drink it yourself" he stated matter of factly.

She supposed that was true. She reached forward with her bound hands and lifted the glass, but it was a strange position and the water slushed over making her curse.

"Here, let me help you"

He reached out his hands to steady hers, her eyes flew to his, and he smiled. In them she saw kindness. She drank deeply, she had been really thirsty.

"What´s your name?" She wondered if the kindness she saw in his eyes was real.

"Andrej"

"Well, Andrej, what are you doing in place like this?"

He grinned at her.

"I could ask you the same thing".

"We should have gone with my plan" Owen grumbled.

"Yeah, we could have done that, but I don´t feel like getting sprayed with bullets today. Not that it will matter if she..."

He trailed of at the end.

Owen stared at him. They stood leaning against the wall outside the bar smoking. Michael had after a while noticed that the man they were looking for, and a smaller one often went outside to smoke. Fortunately Owen smoked when he was drunk, so he had cigarettes and a lighter on him. When he had planned to get drunk in Moscow Michael didn´t know, but he figured he couldn´t really blame him since he himself had been on that path not long ago before... He sighed, and rubbed a hand over his eyes. Before he realized something was wrong.

When Nikita left, he felt empty, he still did, his heart had seemed to stand still, now it was aching. Was it because he knew she was in danger? He didn´t know. He just knew he wouldn´t rest until he got her back, and God help anyone who tried to stand in his way.

"Hey"

He looked over at Owen, who was staring at him with a sympathetic look on his face.

"We´ll get her back"

"Or die trying" Michaels voice was dark and serious.

"Or die trying" Owen echoed.

Nikita was actually starting to like this guy, well as much as you could like someone who was helping to keep you prisoner anyway.

"and my girlfriend always tells me, Andrej , your face is going to stay in that position for all eternity if you´re not careful..."

Nikita laughed.

"What´s your girlfriends name?"

"Olga" he had a dreamy look on his face and was most likely picturing her before him, his brow creased and he cast a worried look at her "I shouldn´t have said that. You won´t use that against me will you?",

She leaned forward to place her hand on his knee, but the ropes stopped her.

"I promise I won´t. Andrej, I´m not like that"

"I believe you" he smiled at her "When they first brought you here, I was shocked, you looked so normal, not at all like the poeple who usually end up here"

She laughed again.

"Uhm thank you, I think"

She coughed, and her ribs ached.

Andrej noticed the look on her face.

"I´m sorry, am I tiring you? Maybe you should rest..."

"No no. Stay. It´s nothing" suddenly a thought occured to her "unless you have to go? Aren´t they missing you?"

Andrej scoffed.

"Them? Oh please, they barely notice when I´m around, they hardly ever talk to me"

"What are you doing here then? You look so young..." she trailed off.

"I´m going to be 25 next year" he said proudly

"Ah, such an old man" she teased

He mock rolled his eyes.

She didn´t know what it was about him, he was so carefree and pure somehow, she wondered how that could be, in this environment. He reminded her of herself, her first year at division. So light and open. Though she doubted he had her life history, but who knew.

His voice interrupted her thoughts.

"So which do you like better, Katy Perry or Lady Gaga?"

She stared at him uncomprehendingly.

Michael was walking back to where Owen was still standing.

"It´s done, it´s right around the corner"

"Good, it´s almost time"

He handed Michael another cigarette and lit it.

The door opened and two men came out for a smoke, one of them was the guy Owen thought had the information they needed.

"So..." Owen started, turning slightly to Michael "I´ve been meaning to talk to you about something..."

"What is it bro?" Michael inwardly cringed.

"This is hard for me you know, I want you to keep in mind that I´m just a man, and no matter what, I´ll always be your friend, right?"

"Of course, you geek, out with it" Michael laughed

"Well, you see, I´m kind of in love with your girlfriend"

"What did you just say?"

Now they had the attention of the other two.

"I´m in love with your girlfriend"

"Please tell me this is a bad joke man"

"I´m sorry man, it just happened" Owen shrugged.

"After everything I´ve done for you, this is how you repay me" Michael screamed.

The two men standing near was grinning at the display.

"I´m sorry okey! I didn´t mean for it to happen!"

"Oh yeah sure you didn´t, you´re after everything in a skirt you dick!"

Michael took two steps forward and pushed him, Owen pushed back. Then Michael punched him in the face making him crash into the smaller man, sending them both to the ground, Owen immediatley hit him across the face and slammed his face to the ground.

Michael punched the other man, but it was like hitting a wall, still he aimed another punch at his face and kicked his right knee. The man roared in anger and punched Michael in the stomach, making him double over. Michael quickly recuperated and slammed into him, they stood like that, wrestling back and forth until Owen jumped on the mans back and locked his arms around his throat.

The man let go of Michael and started to spin around, trying to throw Owen off, but he held on. They spun again but this time Michael was ready and he punched the man hard in the face, he slowed down and slowly tipped over, Owen still on his back.

Owen stood up and looked over at Michael, at the same time rubbing his jaw.

"You enjoyed that way too much"

"Yeah"

They hid the body of the other man and then proceeded to carry the other one to the car Michael had stolen earlier, tying him up and throwing him in the backseat. Without glancing back they drove off.

Nikita was listening to Andrejs reasons for loving Lady Gaga when the door opened. In came the man from before. Nikitas eyes immediatley turned hard and calm. The man spoke.

"Andrej, Out"

Andrej cast a sad look at Nikita and stood up to leave. He hesitated in the doorway, then left, closing the door behind him.

Nikita looked up at the man.

"So it seems like the boss have gotten a bit delayed, so I changed my mind. Maybe we can talk while we wait"

When she didn´t answer, he slapped her hard.

She slowly turned back to face him, her face a calm mask.

At the same time Michael and Owen were dragging the man in to an abandoned barn, at least they hoped it was. He was starting to come too and they quickly tied him up. Owen went to get a bucket of water while Michael fished out his knife. He saw Owen glancing at it when he returned, but didn´t say anything. Michael nodded at him and Owen emptied the bucket over him, making him cough and shake. He blinked and looked up at them.

"Hi. I´m Michael. I want you to tell me some things I need to know"

"Never"

"But you don´t know what I want to know yet"

"It dosen´t matter. I am not going to tell you anything"

Michael sighed.

"I don´t really have time for this, so either you tell me what I want to know, or..." He made a sudden move, stabbing his knife down in the mans thigh making him scream "we can continue on with that until you talk, your choice"

**What did you think of Michael and Owen pairing up? It is for a good cause at least ;)**


	13. I m here

**Well here we go again :) I don´t own them...**

Owen stood leaning against the wall as he watched Michael circle the man who was now panting hard and twitching.

"Your boss had a woman captured last night"

No answer. Michael came to a stop in front of him.

"I want to know where she is being held"

"Fuck you" The man choked out.

Michael leaned down close to his face.

"You are going to tell me where she is"

"And if don´t?" The man glared at him.

"You will"

At that Michael brought his knife down hard on the other leg, making the man scream in agony. Owen didn´t bat an eye. Michael dragged the knife out slowly.

"Ready to talk?"

Nikita had her eyes closed as Andrej cleaned a small cut on her cheek.

"Where did he go?" Not that she wasn´t thankful that the man had been called away, but she needed to know when he would be back.

"The boss called and wanted to talk to him"

"He´s on his way then?"

Andrej gave her a look.

"Yeah, I think so"

"Then I think there is no point in trying to fix me up Andrej"

"Don´t say that"

He looked so sad it was heartbreaking. But facts were facts and this was looking worse by the second. She wondered if Michael was looking for her. She hoped not. Even if he did manage to find her, freeing her would be next to impossible and would likely end with him dead. That couldn´t happen. Her feelings hadn´t changed because of what had happened, the trust which had been fragile at best, had been broken, and she was still hurt. It didn´t change how she felt about him though. She looked up at Andrej.

"Andrej, I want you to promise me something"

"...at the end of the road, there´s a house. You´ll find her there" The man finished, gasping.

"Thank you" Michael said and pointed his gun at the man and pulled the trigger.

He turned to Owen.

"Let´s go"

The silence in the car was tense. Michael was driving and Owen was working the GPS he had thankfully brought with him.

"Take a right" He instructed and Michael shifted, taking the turn on two wheels.

"We need to discuss our options" He said to Michael, as if they were deliberating which pizza to order.

"Well there is not a lot to choose from" Michael stated.

"True. Still, we need to be clear on some things. Like what happens if one of us is captured or killed?"

"If I were to be captured or killed, you need to make sure Nikita is safe"

"I will"

It was quiet for a few minutes before Michael spoke again.

"I´m taking Nikita to a different hotel afterwards, where are you going?"

"What? No invite?" He joked. "I have a place in mind"

"Good" Michael continued "And Carter is mine"

"Uh uh forget it" Owen snapped. "I want him"

Michael sighed and shook his head.

"What is the deal with you wanting everything I want?"

"Maybe we are more alike than you think"

"All is lost then" Michael muttered.

"Hey, I´ll make you a deal. I´ll let you have him, if you do something for me after this is over"

"Let me have him, as if" Michael scoffed. "What did you have in mind?" He looked over at Owen who was grinning manically.

Nikita and Andrej were had opted to stay with her even though she told him to go. Carter was expected soon and she had wanted Andrej to leave before he came, but he had refused.

"Can you please listen to me?"

"No"

"Andrej.."

"I´m not leaving"

She sighed.

"There is nothing you can do for me okey?"

"I´ll speak to Carter on your behalf, make him see that you are more valuable alive than dead"

"Andrej. That´s suicide. He´s not going to hesitate before putting a bullet in your brain if he even thinks for one second that you´re not loyal. Please listen to me, what about Olga? What will she think when you don´t come home?"

Andrej was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again.

"I always knew that coming home everyday wasn´t a sure thing. I took this job so I could save up money, to make a better life for us, I didn´t know it was going to be like this, but I´m not going to back out now, not when I finally feel that I´m doing something right"

"Please think about what you are doing, once you do this, there is no going back" Nikita pleaded with him.

"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer" Andrej quoted.

"You don´t need to be a hero Andrej"

He grinned at her.

"You know, I never knew this about myself, but I want to be"

Nikita smiled sadly at him.

"Heros often find themselfs in an early grave"

"No pain no gain, right?" He smiled sadly at her.

They were silent for a few minutes before Nikita spoke up again.

"So you never did finish telling me why you love Lady Gaga so much?"

He rolled his eyes at her and laughed, the tense mood broken.

"Oh please, you haven´t lived until you´ve danced your ass off to Bad Romance"

Michael and Owen hid the car in the forrest surrounding the house and traveled the rest of the way by foot.

"We are going back this way afterwards"

Owen nodded.

"Lets just hope Nikita is up for a hike"

The thought of Nikita being anything other than fine made Michaels heart ache painfully in his chest. He knew, just as well as Owen did, that the chances of finding her unharmed were small at best. But he couldn´t think about that now, he needed to concentrate. They jogged through the forrest only making short stops to make sure they were going the right way. After a while Owen spoke up.

"So, what is the deal with you and Nikita?"

Michael glanced at him from the corner of his eye.

"Does it matter to you?"

"Maybe it does"

"Then I´ll have to ask why?"

"Why did you try to kill me?" Owen countered.

Michael let out a short hard laugh.

"I thought you were a threat"

"A threat to Nikitas safety, or a threat to you?"

"Is this really the time to talk about this?"

"Well, this may very well be our only chance to talk about this"

Michael was silent for a while. When he spoke his voice was low and strained.

"I don´t know. I didn´t know why you were around, and that made me uneasy, but since we are being honest, I was also jealous"

Owen gave him a look.

"Don´t look at me like that. You´re no saint"

"No, far from it, but I haven´t tried kill someone out of jealousy at least"

"And concern... don´t forget that"

"Yeah right. You can´t tell me you wouldn´t do the same thing again though"

He couldn´t really argue with that so he kept quiet.

"I had heard of you two before" Owen suddenly said. "At division" he explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah, as I´m sure you know, before I became a guardian I was a cleaner, I was more often at division back then. I would hear people talking in the locker room, and in the halls. Nikita and Michael, Michael and Nikita" he mimicked. "Do you remember a guy named Dylan Andersen?"

"Yeah. I never did like him"

He thought he heard Owen mutter "of course" to himself but he wasn´t sure.

"What about him?"

"Well, I was in the locker room changing after my workout when I heard a few of the guys talking. One of them, Dylan, was asking the others about Nikita, and if they thought he stood a chance with her or something like that. But they advised him to stay away from her, and when he wondered why, they explained that Nikita belonged to you, and rumour had it that you had beaten some poor guy so bad he had to spend three weeks in medical just for asking her out, and then he was never heard of again. That was the first time I heard of you two" he nodded at Michael who let out a short laugh.

"What? Did you know about that rumour?"

"Well, I should. I started it"

Owen stared at him in shock for a few seconds before he started laughing.

"You slick fuck"

Andrej had been called away to attend to something in the house, so Nikita was alone when the door opened to reveal a face she had only seen on divisions screens before. The man stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

"Hello Nikita"

"Carter"

"Ah, so you have heard of me"

"Of course"

"Glad to hear I am still a thorne in old Percys side. And from what I hear, you´re the thorne in his other side"

"Glad to hear it" she mocked.

"Ah, feisty. Of course I was expecting that. You do not cross division and Percy without some kind of backbone I suppose"

"This is all great, but maybe we can talk about why I´m here?"

"Impatient are we? Well then, let´s get down to business. I thought of selling you to Percy actually, I´m quite certain he would pay a rather large amount of money to get you within grasp again"

"Probably" Nikita nodded.

"But, then I thought, why make that old bastard happy? So I decided to let you tell me about all of divisions secrets. Starting with it´s location"

"I can´t do that"

"Why not? Is that not what you want? To see division burnt to the ground?"

"Not that way"

It was. But not while people she cared about were still inside.

"Well this is the way it´s going to be Nikita. You are going to tell me, or you´re going to die. Well, you´re probably going to die anyway, unless you can give me an incentive to keep you alive"

He leered at her and she supressed a shudder.

"I´m not afraid to die" She wasn´t, the only thing she was afraid off was never seeing Michael again.

"I believe you. That is how you are trained anyway, to not fear death. But" he leaned in close to her, and whispered in her ear "there are worse things than death".

Michael and Owen were scanning the house and the grounds, creeping closer.

"We have to be quick and quiet. We don´t know how many of them there are in the house. I´ll go in front, you take the back" Michael instructed.

"Meet back at the car unless there´s any trouble?"

Michael nodded and turned to run across the lawn but Owens voice stopped him.

"Hey, in case something happens" Michael looked at him "it´s been real"

Michael nodded.

"Remember what I told you, in case something happens..."

"I remember"

They nodded at each other and then took off in opposite directions.

Michael tried the front door and found it unlocked. Clearly they weren´t expecting any crashers. He crept inside slowly, senses on high alert. He caught a shadow moving his way and hid behind a door, waiting for the shadow to pass into the room he was in. When he did, Michael hit him across the back off his head swiftly and caught him before he hit the floor. He quickly hid the body in a closet and continued down the hall.

He passed a mirror, and when he glanced in it he saw a man coming out from a room behind him. He quickly whirled around and punched him, receiving a hit to his ribs before managing to catch him in a chokehold until he was down. He dragged him inside and closed the door behind him.

He wondered how many others there were, and if Owen had managed to take any of them out. He encountered two more, and managed to take them down too, only suffering a few hits and a light graze to his upper arm by a knife.

Coming to the end of the hall he heard voices, listening closely he heard Nikitas voice, followed by a mans. He tried to hear what they were saying but he wasn´t able to. He weighted his options, he could wait, but who knew what was going on inside that room. On the other hand, if he stormed in there he had no idea how he would be met. He sighed. Storming it was.

He kicked the door open and raised his gun at the man standing before Nikita. His relief to find her alive was dimmed at seeing the bruise and cut on her cheek, also at the sight of the knife being held against her neck. He leveled his gaze at the man he recognized as Carter who was laughing.

"Oh my what is this. Michael is here to save you Nikita. It appears that way at least. Tell me Michael, does Percy know about this? Or wait, maybe he does know and he actually sent you?"

"Does it matter?" Michael questioned.

"No I guess not. I have to say I´m intrigued though. I have heard of you of course. Divisions lead agent, the best they have according to the rumours..."

"You´re making me blush"

"And funny too, what a catch. Now" his tone turned serious "lay the gun down on the floor and kick it over here"

Nikita had been quiet until now, the shock of seeing Michael almost making her faint. If she were the type to faint, which she wasn´t she decided. Absolutely not.

"Michael don´t"

"Oh don´t listen to her Michael. She dosen´t want to be rescued, we were getting along just fine before you showed up. Now do as I say"

Michael lay the gun on the ground and kicked it away from him. Carter leaned down to pick it up, keeping his eyes on Michael the whole time.

Michael knew this was his only chance and he threw himself at Carter just as his fingers touched the gun. They slammed into the wall, Michael hitting Carter across the face two times before Carter managed to push him away and kick him in the stomach and leveled his knife at him.

When Michael straightened up he had his own knife in his hand.

"Well well well, would you look at that. Did you know that I was a part of division in the past..."

Michael was surprised but he didn´t show it. They started to circle each other, Michael making sure Nikita was behind him, who was trying to free herself from her ropes but didn´t have any luck.

"It´s true, I used to be an operative too, I guess Percy didn´t mention that. Well, I got tired of it, and it´s more money in dealing with weapons anyway. I think Percy actually had everyone who talked about it killed. It made him look bad"

"So you see Nikita, you´re not the only one who has left division and lived to tell the tale. That almost makes us " he grinned at Michael "alike".

"She´s nothing like you" Michael stated.

Carter was about to respond when Michael attacked, slashing him across the arm. Carter hissed and thrust forward but Michael jumped out of the way and hit Carter across the chest, making him stumble. He quickly recovered and kicked the knife out of Michaels hand.

Michael threw himself at him and they tumbled to the floor, Carters knife wedged between them as Carter tried the press it down into Michaels chest. Michael managed to divert his arm and hit it until Carter let go of the knife with a grunt of pain. Michael hit him, making him fall backwards slightly. He tried to get up but Carter was on him again, and struck him across the face, making him see stars. He reached his arm out fumbling around but finally his fingers closed around the knife and he quickly hit upwards, imbedding it in the Carters chest.

Carter paused and looked down, as if he couldn´t really understand what had happened. He leaned back on his knees and stared at Michael still on the floor, breathing hard. He tried to pull the knife out, but when he got halfway he fell over, eyes open but unseeing.

Michael took a deep breath and struggled to stand.

"Michael?" Nikita asked worried.

Michael located his knife and walked over to her, trying not to let the pain get to him.

"I´m here"

He quickly cut her loose and helped her stand, her legs and arms feeling sore after being tied up. She stumbled against him and he wrapped an arm around her to keep her steady. Also he couldn´t help but press her close to him, she was here, and she was alive.

"Don´t move"

They turned quickly to look at the doorway where the guy Nikita had first met when she was taken here was standing with a gun in his hand. Michael placed himself in front of Nikita, ignoring her protesting and the way she tried to get around him. He braced himself for the inevitable moment when the bullet would pierce him.

A shot rang out and he tensed. The man before them fell to the floor, a glazed look in his eyes. Behind him stood Owen, gun in hand.

"Let´s go"

**Don´t worry, Nikita and Michael will have more time together soon, BUT they have some unresolved issues... And they are not out of the woods yet so to speak heh. Andrejs quote is actually from Ralph Waldo Emerson. And if you´re wondering where he went, we will see him soon. So what did you think?**


	14. You found me

**This chapter took a bit longer to write than I´m used to, partly because I changed my mind about the direction in which I wanted it to go, and partly because I´ve been busy at work and with christmas coming soon, but enough about that now! Thank you so much for the reviews guys, you´re the best readers one can have :) As usual I don´t own them. **

Nikita blinked. Shocked at the sight of Owen standing before her, but she didn´t have time to reflect upon it before Michael gave her push forward and they followed Owen out the door.

They crept down the hallway, moving quickly but carefully. When they reached the door leading to the outside they paused. After sharing a look Michael went first, openeing the door and exiting, Nikita went next and then Owen.

A moment from her left made Nikita whirl around.

"Stop!"

Nikitas heart stopped, and time seemed to stand still as she watched Michael turn towards her and then take aim at Andrej who was aiming at them.

"Michael no"

The sound of her voice made him hesitate, and he looked toward her from the corner of his eye, not letting Andrej out of his sight completely. Owen stood by his side, gun ready, a confused look on his face.

Nikita turned back to Andrej and met his eyes calmly.

"Andrej"

"Nikita, what are you doing?"

"I´m escaping" She let a wry smile cross her face. The fact that she was discussing her escape rather than executing it was rather strange.

"But, who are these guys?"

He looked so confused Nikita felt sorry for him.

"Andrej these are my friends, they helped me escape" She took a deep breath before continuing "Are you going to let us go?"

"Nikita..." He trailed off.

Nikita swallowed hard and took a few steps forward, coming face to face with him. She felt Michael tense behind her, she didn´t know how she knew since she couldn´t see him now, but she felt the tension in the air and knew it was radiating off of him in waves.

She looked at Andrejs face and felt a wave of emotion hit her. She hated putting him in this position, but what else could she do? It wasn´t just about her anymore now.

"I´m sorry Andrej"

He looked at her silently. Michael cleared his throat and spoke.

"Nikita. We have to move"

Andrej looked over at Michael and Owen standing a few feet away. He looked back at Nikita, a wistful look on his face.

"Good times, right"

She laughed, feeling tears in her eyes. It was strange, she had known Andrej only for a short while, it was starting to darken, so she guessed it was early evening now, and she had been captured during the night before, but still, she felt an emotional bond she couldn´t explain, not like the bond she shared with Michael, something different, almost sisterly in a way.

"The best"

He held out his hand to her and she took it, ignoring Michael and Owens stares burning into her back. She gripped his hand tightly and looked him in the eyes,

"You know this is no place for you. You said it yourself, that you regretted being here"

"I used to" He smiled "But now I see why I had to be here"

"Why was that?" She asked, not quite understanding what he meant.

"For you"

His answer was so simple, two short words, who meant an awful lot to her.

"Come with us?" She asked.

He shook his head regretfully.

"I can´t. I have to take care of Olga"

"At least think about getting out of this Andrej, you and Olga could move, start over"

Nikita was surprised to hear the pleading tone of her voice.

"I will, I promise. I just have to take care of some things first"

Shouting was heard from inside the house, and Michael cursed. Andrej released Nikitas hand and gestured for her to run.

"Go"

She looked at him silently.

"Nikita, we have to move!" Michael took a step forward, intending to grab her.

"You have to leave now" Andrejs voice was gentle.

Nikita took one last look at him before turning around and taking off through the trees, Michael and Owen beside her.

They ran through the forrest, Michael and Owen leading the way since they knew in which direction to go. They ran fast and soon the sounds of people following grew more and more distant. Nikita felt herself begin to tire, normally she would have had no trouble running for miles, but she was injured and her ribs ached like they were on fire.

"Michael"

Michael slowed down and looked at her.

"I can´t go on, I have to rest" Even as she said it she knew it wasn´t an option.

Michael looked worried, and he stopped beside her, Owen backtracked and came to stand beside them.

"We can´t stay here"

"I know" Michael snapped. He turned his eyes back to Nikita.

"I´ll carry you"

"I can go by myself, I just need a minute" She knew she needed more than a minute, time they didn´t even have, but she didn´t want Michael to have to carry her. That wasn´t who she was.

"Nikita, you can barely take a breath"

"I´m fine! I can do this, I just..."

Michael cut her off.

"You are not fine and we don´t have time to stand here and discuss it. Either you can get on my back by yourself or I´ll make you. Your choice"

Nikita looked at Owen for support, but from the way he met her gaze with a steely look in his eyes she gathered that he was team Michael on this. Well, wasn´t that nice. Since when were they best friends anyway.

She sighed and Michael turned his back to her and bent down at the knees. She hooked her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, trying to ignore how good he smelled and how close she suddenly was to him.

Michael grabbed a hold of her legs and without another word took off, Owen following close behind.

Nikita leaned her head down on his shoulder. She couldn´t believe that he was here. He had come for her. The pain from his lies were still there, and she knew that if they made it out of this mess they had an even bigger one between them to face. But for now he was here, and despite their current situation she felt safe.

They reached the car and Owen jumped in the driver seat while Michael settled in the back with Nikita. She had felt an overwhelming sense off loss when he had let go of her legs to let her slide down his back to the ground, but as soon as her feet touched the ground he had wrapped his arm around her and ushered her towards the car.

Her ribs hurt with every bump in the road they hit, and she couldn´t hide the gasp of pain that escaped her. Michael looked at her sharply and tugged her closer, trying to prevent her body from moving around so much by pressing it closer to his own. Still, when they hit a large bump he couldn´t stop her body from moving entirely and she winced. Michael glared at Owen in the rearview mirror, making Owen grimace.

"Sorry" he muttered.

Nikita felt herself starting to drift away, she was so tired, and her body hurt. She just wanted to rest her eyes for a bit... She leaned against Michaels shoulder, pressing her face against his neck. He pulled her even closer and before she fell asleep she thought she felt him press his lips against her forehead gently.

She woke from time to time, usually by some movement, but she soon drifted off again, her body too tired to stay awake for long. Sometimes she thought she heard Michael and Owen talking, but it didn´t make any sense to her, Michael hated Owen, didn´t he? It was all so strange and everytime she tried to focus the voiced sounded even more far away until she gave up.

She woke again when she was lifted out of the car.

"Nikita?"

"Hm?"

"Can you walk? We are going in to a hotel, and I need you to be able to walk so they don´t start asking questions okey?"

"I can do it" At least she hoped she could.

"Just hang on to me okey?"

Michael wrapped his arm over her shoulders and lead her toward the hotel. She stumbled a little, but the cold evening air made her head feel a bit clearer and she could focus more. They walked in to the hotel, Michael asking for a room, she thought she heard him whisper something about someone having had to much to drink, and it took a while for her to understand that he was talking about her. She wanted to laugh at the thought, but she was too tired.

Apparently it worked anyway because soon they were being handed a key and walking down the hall, Michaels arm firmly around her shoulders. They stopped at the door she assumed belonged to their room and Michael released her long enough to unlock the door and open it.

It was a nice room, she could tell, but she could care less. All she wanted was to sleep. No wait, she wanted to shower, and then sleep for many many hours she decided. She glanced at the bed, it looked heavenly. Of course, in her state a sheet on the floor would have looked lovely. First things first though.

"Michael"

He locked the door and turned to her.

"Yeah?"

He looked tired. Still as handsome as ever, but tired. He had dark circles under his eyes and if she wasn´t mistaken he still had on the clothes he had been wearing when she left. She wondered if the time she had been missing had been hard for him.

"I´m going to take a bath"

She took a few steps toward the bathroom but stumbled. Before she could completely regain her balance he was there, holding on to her.

"I´ll help you"

"I don´t think..."

"I´ll wait outside while you change, I just think you might, need help"

She looked at him, saw the look in his eyes and she understood.

"I can´t disappear from the bathroom Michael"

"I know. But I want to help you"

He looked so sad, and she knew. Just by looking at him she knew that he needed to do this.

"Okey"

Her voice was small, and sounded every bit as hesitant as she felt.

He let out the breath he had been holding and relaxed.

She walked to the bathroom, Michael following closely behind. He went in and filled the tub with hot water and bath foam while she undressed and wrapped a towel around her outside the door.

"It´s done"

His voice was soft.

She walked inside and stepped up to the tub and turned to look at him. He turned around to face the door and she folded the towel and laid it across the sink before sinking down in the hot water. She let it wash over her, felt the small cuts she had sting.

"You can turn around"

He didn´t at first. As she watched he seemed to wait for something. Finally he turned around, but he didn´t look at her, his gaze was locked at the floor. After a while his eyes locked up to meet hers and she felt shy.

Nikita was hardly a virgin, and she had worked for a black op unit for several years, one would think her ability to blush would have ended years ago. But it hadn´t. Not where Michael was concerned. But there was something so intimate about this situation. Was it because she was weaker than she usually was right now, or because of everything that had happened? She didn´t know.

Michael took a hesistant step forward. When she didn´t react he took another, and soon he was sitting on the chair next to the tub. It wasn´t her nudity that made the situation so intimate, she was covered in bubbles, so he couldn´t see anything below her shoulders, but maybe, in some ways, she was more naked now, in this moment, than she had ever been before.

She sank down to wet her hair and when she came up Michael had put some shampoo in his hands, and after a tense moment he gently started to wash her hair.

She relaxed under his fingers, they were running so gently over her head, she was almost being lulled to sleep. When he was done he settled his hands on her shoulders, after some hesitation he applied a little pressure, and then stopped, gesturing that he wanted her to sink her head under water to rinse some of the foam from the shampoo away.

She tensed, realizing the situation she was in. For someone who was taught to trust no one, letting another human being help her push her head underwater, no matter how little push it was, was very unsettling. She would have let Michael do it before. She had trusted him with her life at some point, many times in fact. Now she wasn´t so sure. Oh she knew she could trust him with her life, he had proved that time and time again. Today being the last in a long line of times when Michael had saved her life. No, she wasn´t worried about trusting him with her life.

It was her heart she was worried about.

Michael knew why she was suddenly so tense. But just because he could understand it, didn´t mean that it didn´t hurt.

They seemed to hang in the balance for a minute, both of them wondering about the next move, and which one of them who was going to make it.

Then Nikita slowly lowered her head underwater, Michaels hands following her down, and then up when she resurfaced.

His heart soared.

Hers beat frantically.

They didn´t say a word, both of them wondering what this meant.

Nikita glanced at the towel and Michael understood. He stood up to retrieve it and while Nikita showered to wipe off the last of the foam and dried off he went down to the reception, claiming his wife had had an "accident" and wondered if there was some way he could borrow another shirt for her.

When he returned with the tshirt Nikita was still in the bathroom so he knocked and she opened the door just enough to pass the shirt through.

While he waited for her to finish up he made up the bed, turning down the covers. A low curse was heard from the bathroom.

"Nikita?"

"I´m fine. It´s just.."

She didn´t get any futher before he opened the door, already having guessed the problem. He took the first aid kit from her and gestured for her to sit down which she did, too tired to argue.

He started cleaning the cuts, and bandaged two of them. He stroked his fingers carefully over the bruise on her cheek.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His voice was soft, almost a whisper, but she heard him. She didn´t. She didn´t want to talk about Carter, or how the bruises came to be.

"No, not now"

He didn´t say anything else and she got up and walked out to stand beside the bed. He followed her and stood a few feet away from her. They stared at each other in silence before Nikita spoke.

"You know we have to talk about what happened before" Michael closed his eyes "With Owen, and all the lies".

"I know, but..."

"We have to Michael. This can´t be swept under the rug, it´s to big for that"

"I know we have to. But maybe..."

He stopped and took the few steps seperating them, stopping before her.

"Can I just" He swallowed, and Nikita was confused by the look in his eyes, he looked so lost "Can I just hold you? Just for tonight?"

Her heart broke even more at the thought that his too was broken and jaded. How had they ever come to this?

She couldn´t deny him what he needed. She understood that he needed to feel her close to him, to make sure that she was still there. She needed it too.

She nodded and made her way over to the bed and laid down under the covers. Michael quickly undressed to his boxers and laid down on the other side, Nikita averting her eyes.

For a minute they laid there side by side, no one moving. Then Michael reached an arm out and pulled her against him under the covers. She laid her arm across his middle, hugging him tightly to her. She let her head rest against his chest and felt his heart beat steadily against her ear. Michael grasped her hand with his free one, holding it tightly.

A song was playing on the radio in the next room, it´s soft murmur seeping through the walls.

_Well I heard there was a secret chord  
That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do ya?  
Well it goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah _

_Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah _

_Well Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
she tied you to her kitchen chair  
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah _

Michael closed his eyes and pulled Nikita tighter against him, pressing his lips against her hair.

_Well baby I've been here before  
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew ya  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah _

He knew they needed to talk. He didn´t know if she was going to leave him after tonight, or if she could even consider not walking away from him. He wanted to stay awake to remember this, the feel of her against him, but his body was tired and soon he was asleep.

_Well there was a time when you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show that to me do you?  
And remember when I moved in you?  
And the holy dove was moving too  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

**So there they are, asleep in each others arms ;) What did you think? And merry christmas to everyone!**


	15. Trust

**Sorry for the delay, it´s been a lot with the holidays and all :) Hope everyone had a nice holiday and thank you so much for the reviews :D Now... I don´t own them.**

Nikita awoke to the feeling of being held tight against something hard. It took her a few seconds to realize that the hard thing she was being held against was a body. Michaels body. And the reason she was being held so hard was because of his arm draped across her middle, clutching her to him.

His face was buried against her neck and small puffs of air hit her when he breathed. For a moment she allowed herself to bask in the presence of him so close without any kind of tension between them. Their movie night seemed like lightyears away with everything that had happened.

As Michaels breathing changed Nikita became aware of the fact that he too had woken up, still they didn´t move, both afraid to talk and break the peace that had settled between them during the night. They lay there, Michaels arm wrapped around her, his face in her neck for a few minutes before Michaels voice broke the silence.

"Hi"

His voice was quiet and raspy from sleep and Nikita fought back a shiver.

"Hi"

"How are you feeling?" The concern in his voice was even harder to hear. On one hand she adored it. Loved the fact that he cared enough about her to come to her help when she needed it, but at the same time she wanted to run. Run far far away from him so he couldn´t hurt her anymore. The fact that Michael, who was the one person she cared about most in this world, was also the only one who could really hurt her didn´t escape her.

"Fine. Just a bit tender..."

She was lying of course. She didn´t feel fine at all. Her whole body hurt and she felt slightly dizzy. Though if that was because of her injuries or Michaels close promoxity she didn´t know.

"Ah" Michaels tone said he didn´t believe her either but he didn´t question her and for that she was grateful.

For a minute no one spoke, both of them lost in their own thoughts. They hadn´t moved since they had started talking, and they didn´t make a move to do so now, but Nikita knew they couldn´t postpone the inevitable forever. They would have to talk, and move from the bed who had become their safe haven.

"Michael" She began.

"Not yet" His voice even though still quiet from sleep was firm, but Nikita heard what he didn´t say. For a few moments more, they could shut out the world and pretend. She relaxed back against him, and felt his small smile against her neck.

Michaels hand which had been resting against her stomach, entwined with hers and soon they were both asleep again.

Michael woke to the sound of raindrops hitting the window. He smothered a yawn and turned his head to look out the window. It was raining hard outside, that much he could tell. Turning back he looked down at Nikita who was still asleep. A small smile spread over his face before reality caught up to him. His eyes turned serious and he sighed as he let one finger slide across her cheek gently. Was this the last time he was this close to her? His heart clenched at the thought. No this couldn´t be it, how would he be able to continue on with his life without her if that was what she wished? He wanted to be the kind of man who would accept her decision, whatever it might be, but if it came to that, would he be able to let her go?

Nikita stirred against him and he dropped his hand, the other one still entwined tightly with hers. His lifeline.

"What is that sound?" Her voice was sleepy and he found himself wishing that he could start every morning with the sound of her voice.

"It´s raining pretty hard outside"

"Oh"

For a moment he thought she would go back to sleep but then she sighed and rolled over to face him, he kept his arm where it was, draped over her, as long as she didn´t say anything he wouldn´t move it.

Their eyes met and the peace which had been present before had been replaced with tension. Michael wanted the peace and quiet back, he didn´t know what to expect now and Nikita wasn´t giving him any clues. Sure, they had slept in the same bed in each others arms, but that was then. She had been tired and injured and he had been desperate to reassure himself that she was there with him, safe.

He just wanted reality to wait a little bit longer.

"We have to talk"

Obviously Nikita wasn´t thinking the same thing.

"I know" He sighed.

They didn´t move and continued to gaze into each others eyes, both of them wondering what the other one was thinking. Eventually Nikita spoke up again.

"We should probably get up"

Michael didn´t answer, he just nodded and waited for her to make the move to get up.

Nikita sighed, annoyed.

"Can you move your arm please?"

Michael found it pretty funny that she was blaming him for not being able to get up.

"We both know if you didn´t want to be here I would have had a hard time keeping you here" He all but whispered to her and Nikita was instantly annoyed. Seeing her eyes sharpen and the way she clenched her jaw he couldn´t resist teasing her a bit more.

"Of course, I would´ve won in the end"

He didn´t have time to blink before his arm was thrown back at him and Nikita was standing by the bed.

"We have a lot to talk about so maybe you should consider getting up as soon as your ego deflates enough. I´m going to take a shower"

The sound of the bathroom door slamming brought him out of his daze. Wasn´t she injured? How was she able to move so quickly? Still, no one knew better than him to never underestimate Nikita. He shouldn´t have teased her, but it had felt so normal to be here with her like this, and he hadn´t been able to resist. He sighed and got up and dressed. He thought of offering to help her with her wounds but she would probably only tell him to go to hell. He would ask her later.

He wondered if she was hungry. They hadn´t eaten anything the night before and he didn´t know if she had been fed where she had been held. He decided to go downstairs and see if they were serving any kind of breakfast in this place. He wrote a note to Nikita explaining where he was in case she was done in the shower before he was back and then went downstairs in search of something to eat.

He was back before Nikita was done and he settled the sandwiches and coffee he had bought downstairs on the table in front of the couch. The room wasn´t all that big but it at least had a couch and a tv.

The door to the bathroom opened and out came Nikita, looking so beautiful his heart actually skipped a beat.

"Hi"

"Hi. Sandwich?"

He held out a sandwich for her.

"Thanks" She took it with a grateful smile and settled down beside him on the couch. For some time they didn´t speak, choosing to eat first.

When they had finished off the last of the coffee Nikita put her cup down slowly and turned to face him.

"Before we start, I want you to promise me that you´ll be completely honest with me Michael. Because if you are not, I will walk out that door and out of your life for good".

She didn´t know if she could do that, but she couldn´t live with all the lies either.

"I promise" He nodded. He had to be honest, what did he have left to lose? Chances were she would never trust him again as it were.

"You tried to kill Owen"

Trust Nikita to jump straight into it.

"Yes"

"Why?"

Michael sighed and turned his head to stare at the dark tv.

"I thought he was a threat" At Nikitas look he continued "And, I was jealous"

"Michael..." Nikita sighed.

"What? What was I supposed to think? I caught him kissing you didn´t I?"

"It wasn´t like that, it was a simple misunderstanding"

"A misunderstanding? Right"

"It was! He was drunk and I reacted to slowly to stop him..."

"Look Nikita, you can believe that if you want, but he didn´t look that drunk from where I was standing"

"Speaking of... Why were you even there?"

"I was trying to find Owen"

"And you did"

"Well it is part of my job you know"

Nikita didn´t want to bring that up, but it was something they needed to consider.

"About that, have you been in contact with Percy about killing Carter?"

"Not yet" Michael shook his head.

"You have to do it soon, otherwise there is always the risk of him hearing about it from someone else first. He´ll wonder why you didn´t make contact".

"I know" He looked like he wanted to say something more but he remained quiet.

"But what?"

"I just wanted to stay here a bit longer, with you"

The walls Nikita had begun to build after having found out about his lies lost a few stones.

"We can´t stay here forever"

Was it his imagination or did she sound sad at the thought?

"I know that. I´ll make contact with him later today, I´ll see if I can stay here for a day or two at least to finish up, he might agree to that"

Nikita nodded, Percy didn´t like loose ends.

It was quiet for a while before Michael spoke.

"Nikita...about Owen. I´m sorry I hurt you. I should have told you the truth before we came here but I was afraid you would want to find him and then place yourself in danger"

"I´m always in danger Michael"

He shook his head.

"Not like that, it would have been suicide. I couldn´t risk that. I couldn´t risk losing you"

"You tried to kill him"

"Yes"

"Do you regret it?"

Michael hesitated before speaking, looking down at his hands folded in his lap.

"Yes... and no"

Nikita raised an eyebrow at that.

"Yes, because in the long run I could have lost you because of it. But no, because I would probably do it again under the same circumstances".

Nikita looked away and scooted further away on the couch, the raindrops hitting the window angrily, as if trying to force their way through. Michael looked at her and then followed, cupping her face in his hands and tilted it up so her eyes met his. When he spoke his words were soft and honest, his voice raw as if he´d been yelling for hours.

"Nikita, try to understand. When I met you, I felt something I hadn´t ever felt before, not even with..." He didn´t continue, and Nikita didn´t force him. She knew. He started again "For a long time, I had nothing but anger and hate in my life. Then you came along with your light and I was blinded. Suddenly I felt something other then the guilt and anger I had carried with me so long. And then you were gone" His voice turned hollow "And I couldn´t breathe. The only thing that kept me from trying to find you was the thought that you were probably better off without division and Percy and "he took a deep breath "Me".

"Michael" Nikita shook her head, tears shining in her eyes.

Michael let out a sad laugh.

"You probably still are. But it dosen´t matter now because I can´t let you go. Not again. The first time nearly killed me, and I know it will feel a thousand times worse now. I´m sorry"

He rested his forehead against hers and wondered what he was apologizing for. For lying to her, or for loving her?

Nikitas heart screamed at her to hold him, he obviously needed her. But she was afraid. Afraid of him and her feelings for him.

"It dosen´t make it right Michael" Her voice was sad.

"I know it dosen´t. And you have every right to hate me and I won´t blame you if you do. But, you are the only thing I´ve wanted, the only thing I really wanted to be mine, and only mine. Nothing belongs to you in division, you know that, and I had accepted that, I didn´t really care. But when you came, I discovered what it was like to really want something. And, in a way I feel that you are mine" Michael stopped her with two fingers against her mouth before she had a chance to speak "Don´t say anything. I know you don´t feel that way, but I do. And the thought of anyone taking you away from me drives me so crazy I can´t even think". The last part was a tortured whisper against her mouth.

Nikita turned her head and couldn´t resist resting it against his shoulder. His hand came up to hold the back of her head gently.

"You hurt me"

"I know. I´m sorry"

"This is not just going to disappear, you have to show me I can trust you. Otherwise I´m gone Michael, I promise you that".

"I promise, you can trust me, I´ll show you".

Nikita wondered how it was that such a smart man like Michael hadn´t figured out that she felt that way too, she was just to scared to admit it.

**Sorry for the short chapter, but I´m sick and don´t feel good at all :S Next one will be longer I promise! Hugs!**


	16. Rocking all over the world

**This chapter is a bit longer since the last one was so short. I hope you like it and that it is worth the wait :)Thank you so much for the reviews, you keep me writing! As usual Michael, Nikita and the rest don´t belong to me...**

"What is it?"

Michael and Nikita was still wrapped in each others arms on the couch. He knew she was thinking of something, and he had been waiting for her to bring it up, but since she didn´t...

"What?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing"

Michael sighed and and pulled back to look her in the eyes but she avoided his gaze.

"What is it?"

Still not looking up, Nikita decided to answer him honestly, afterall, she had just made him promise that he was going to be honest with her.

"There is something I have to do"

Michael stiffened and his arms tightened around her. Remain calm, he told himself. You don´t even know what she is going to say yet.

"Tell me" His voice was quiet but she could hear the underlying steel in it.

"I wanna see Andrej"

"Nikita..." He sighed.

"I´m not asking Michael. I am going to see him"

A tense silence followed. Both of them pondering in which direction to take this. Nikita was clear on what she was going to do, Michael not so much. It was dangerous, he knew that much, he didn´t know if Andrej could be trusted, he had helped Nikita, but still, he was, or had been, the enemy, and they had no idea what had happened when they had left him. But Michael knew she was going to do it anyway, no matter what he thought. So he had no choice really, she would go anyway, even if he didn´t come with her, and that was not acceptable. He couldn´t stop her, and she was not going without him, which meant he was coming with her, that was one thing she didn´t have a choice about.

His finger under her chin lifted her eyes to his.

"Then I´m coming with you"

Michael had gone down to the recpetion to get something, he wouldn´t tell her what,but she could be patient. Well no, she really couldn´t, but she didn´t have much choice at the moment. When he returned she was still seated on the couch waiting for him.

"How are we going to find him?" Michael asked while dropping a bag on the table and taking a seat next to her.

"About that..." Nikita took a piece of paper from her pocket. Michael looked down at the seemingly innocent piece of paper that he had a feeling was far from innocent.

"What is that?"

"It´s a meeting point"

When Michael didn´t speak Nikita looked up at him, silently daring him to question her.

Of course, it was _Michael, _he always dared.

"When did you get that?"

"When I took Andrejs hand he had this in his"

"Why didn´t you tell me?"

Annoyed with his questions Nikita snapped.

"I thought we had some things to discuss first"

Michael ignored that.

"Could be a trap"

"It´s not"

Michael ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit that was so familiar to Nikita that she almost smiled.

"Are you sure?"

"I´m sure" Nikitas voice was steady. Andrej would not betray her, she knew he wouldn´t.

"When?"

"Tonight 6 o´clock".

"You were planning to tell me about this right?" Michael asked.

"Of course".

"Right"

"I´m going Michael, you can come if you want, but I´m going either way".

"Oh I´m coming, don´t doubt that for a second"

"Great, it´s settled then" Nikita smiled "See we are getting better at communicating already"

"I don´t know if it´s a communication really when you´re telling me you´re going either way" Michael pointed out.

"Whatever" She waved at him.

It was quiet before she spoke again.

"So... what do we do until then?"

"I´m glad you asked" Michaels smile was wider than the sun. He stretched to reach the bag he had placed on the table and Nikita got a glimpse of his naked back where his shirt rode up. Her sigh made Michael look back at her and she quickly reverted her gaze to the couch.

"The reception didn´t have much to offer, but I managed to get a hold of this"

In his hands he held a movie, she looked closer.

"No way"

"Oh come on..."

"No way in hell"

"It´s not that bad I promise"

"There is no way you are going to make me watch that"

"It´s very good I´ll have you know"

"I doubt that" Her tone was sour.

"Please?"

"No"

Michael turned his brown eyes to hers and adopted the look. The look that made her want to crawl over to him and make it all better and beg for forgiveness for being such an evil shrew. Or something like that.

"Don´t think that is going to help, I know you"

"Nikita..."

She sighed at the tone of his voice.

A few minutes later she was sitting on the couch muttering while Michael started the movie.

"I can´t believe I let you talk me into this. Again! I feel so weak..."

"You know you can´t resist me, why you even try is a mystery" Michaels voice felt like silk sliding over her, and his teasing smile made her weak in the knees. Not that she´d ever tell him that.

"Oh please, you´re deluded" Nikita scoffed.

"Am I?" Michael threw another smile over his shoulder at her before seating himself next to her.

"Yes" She rolled her eyes.

"Well, we´ll see about that won´t we"

His dark eyes was teasing, but beneath she could see a fire raging, under control for now.

"Try not to cry when I dash your dirty dreams, it makes me nervous, and please for the love of god, no begging!" Now she was teasing him. Something she had always enjoyed.

"Oh you don´t have to worry about that sweetheart" he leaned in closer to her, his eyes meeting hers "I´ll have you underneath me, begging, sooner or later"

Nikita tried not to let him know how much his words affected her, tried to ignore the shiver that ran through her, but when Michael let a slow smile cross his face she knew that he wasn´t fooled, still she tried, unwilling to accept defeat.

"That is never going to happen" She leaned back a bit, trying to put some distance between them but trying not to be to obvious about it. She could feel the heat seeping from him.

"Keep telling yourself that"

"Are we going to watch that damn movie or not?"

Michael laughed and eased back a bit. He grabbed the remote and hit play.

"Nervous?"

"Of course not"

"I don´t believe you"

"I don´t care"

"That hurt"

"I´m glad"

Michael was opening his mouth to speak, but Nikita beat him to it.

"What´s it called again?"

"Friday the 13th"

"Right. And what is this masterpiece about then? Although I have a pretty good idea from the cover"

He ignored the sarcasm in her voice.

"It´s about a guy named Jason, as a boy he drowned at a camp called camp crystal lake. Since then he wants revenge, so he kills people.".

"How can he kill people if he drowned? That´s unlikely"

"That´s the point"

"That he is dead, and yet somehow manages to walk around killing people?"

"Sometimes he runs"

"Not the point. The other one didn´t run" Nikita commented.

"That´s because Michael Myers don´t need to run. He´ll get them anyway"

"Yes, I saw that" She remarked dryly.

"Anyway, this is the first of twelve movies, and it´s a work of art"

The previews were done and the movie started.

"So, in other words, this is a story about revenge?" Nikita asked.

"I guess you could say that in a way. Mostly though it´s just about half naked girls and horror"

"Fantastic".

When Michael woke up slowly. Nikita was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder, still asleep. He stretched, careful not to wake her and glanced at the clock, three hours until the meet, time to get ready. He still wasn´t sure about this, but he had to trust Nikitas judgement, trust that she knew what she was doing. Still, it was hard for him not to be in control and let someone else, even if it was Nikita, take the reins, but at the moment he had no other choice. He didn´t like it though.

Still it couldn´t hurt to be prepared. He gently untangled himself from Nikita and laid her down against the couch spreading a blanket over her. Starting up the computer he had rented earlier downstairs he began his search.

"What are you doing?"

Michael glanced over at Nikita who was watching him.

"Research"

"On?" She knew what.

"Your friend"

At Nikitas look he continued.

"And the area we are meeting him in"

"I see. Good idea"

He looked back at her, a surprised look on his face. She could understand that.

"I trust Andrej, but he could be followed, or tagged. You are right to be careful"

"I´m not worried about me"

"I know"

Their eyes were saying the words that their lips wouldn´t form.

"So have you found anything?"

"Nothing strange so far, no hidden entrys in the area, still I think we should head out soon and see for ourselves"

"I agree, there is just one problem"

Michael pointed to the bag at the table. Nikita went over to it and pulled out a pair of dark blue jeans and a white long sleeved sweater.

"I´m impressed. You know my size"

"Of course I do"

"I don´t know why I´m surprised"

Michael laughed while Nikita went to change, he had already changed into jeans and a black shirt.

When she returned he was filling a backpack with stuff they would need.

"There is one more thing... Where is.."

"He´s safe" Michael finished.

"Safe as in still living, or safe as in a safe shallow grave?"

"Still living" Michael replied amused.

"Still in Moscow?"

"Yes"

"You never told me how you ended up working together?"

"Didn´t have much of a choice. He had information I needed and he wanted in"

"Why?" She was confused. Owen was an agent, a rogue agent, but still, he had been trained just like the rest of them to never care about anyone but himself. Well first division, then yourself. That instinct was so deeply imbedded in them it was hard to overcome it, Michael and Nikita had always put the other before themselves, but that was different. They had ties to each other, cared for the other, it changed things. Nikita knew Owen liked her, as an ally, but risking his own life to save hers was strange. What was his motivation?

"He cares about you" Michael tried to make his voice sound indifferent.

"Not that much"

"Oh, trust me, he does"

"How do you know?"

"I just do" When Nikita looked at him, a doubtful look in her eyes he added "It´s a guy thing"

"Are we going to contact him?"

"He´s going to make contact with me, we have some unfinished business"

"Michael..."

"Not that. Something else, I kind of owe him something"

"What?"

"Don´t know. I promised I would do something for him"

"But you don´t know what? That´s not like you Michael, you don´t know what he wants you to do"

Despite the fact that Nikita trusted Owen, to a point at least, she felt uneasy.

"I was desperate" Desperate to save you, don´t you know I would do anything, promise anything to make sure you were safe? Wanting to erase the troubled look in her eyes he added.

"I doubt it´s anything dangerous"

"I hope you´re right"

Nikita and Michael were standing in an alley, waiting. Having arrived two hours earlier they had made sure the place was secure. Still, they were tense, prepared for anything or anyone. What is it with me and alleys Nikita thought to herself. Lately everything in her life seemed to take place in one. But there was a big difference to the last time, this time she wasn´t alone. She glanced at Michael standing beside her.

On the other end someone entered the alley. Michael and Nikita readied themselves. When the shadow got closer Nikita recognized Andrej. He stopped a few feet away from them, glanced at Michael then smiled at Nikita.

"Hi"

"Hi" She smiled back and was about to step forward but Michaels hand on her arm stopped her.

"I´m not here to hurt you, I just wanted to say thank you, and goodbye"

Nikita nodded at Michael who reluctantly let go of her arm. She took a step forward.

"I know that. Are you sure no one followed you?"

"I´m sure, I quit Nikita. Olga and I are leaving Moscow"

"I´m glad to hear it, that place was never for you" She smiled at him, sadly. "Are you safe? I mean, it´s not that easy right?"

"No it´s not, but we´ll be long gone before they notice anything. And it´s not like I´m that important to track down. Funny how something that used to piss me off turned out to be a blessing"

"I was worried about you"

"I worried about you too, but I figured you were in good hands" Another glance at Michael. "I didn´t want to leave before saying goodbye, and I´m sorry, for everything"

At that Nikita stepped forward and placed her hand against his cheek.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, it wasn´t your fault"

"Still..."

"No, you helped me. I will always be grateful for that"

Andrej cleared his throat.

"I also wanted to thank you, for making me see things for what they are, I know it seems strange, I hardly know you and still you changed everything".

"I´m sure you would have quit eventually Andrej, you´re better than that"

"I`m not as sure about that as you are"

"I´m sure"

He smiled at the confident tone of her voice.

"Anyway, that´s why I slipped you that note, I wanted a chance to tell you how meeting you changed me, strange as it may sound"

"It dosen´t sound strange at all, you made me see that there is still good people in this world. It gives me hope"

She carefully put her arms around his neck and hugged him.

He hugged her back. It was brief, but it said a lot. When they parted they both had tears in their eyes.

"Here" Nikita handed him a note "It´s an adress to a website, if you ever need anything... post it there, I´ll know"

"I will, I promise"

He stepped back and looked at Michael.

"You´ll take care of her?"

"Always" Michael replied. "Thank you"

Andrej understood the meaning in those words, he could see it in the other mans eyes. He nodded.

He turned to walk away but looked back at Nikita.

"If, we meet again, or if I contact you, I´ll call you товарищ... Then you´ll know it´s me"

"I´ll know. I feel the same" Nikita added softly.

Andrej smiled and walked away, leaving Nikita and Michael standing in silence.

"Should I be jealous?" Michael broke the silence, his voice light and teasing, but Nikita could hear what he tried so hard to hide.

"No. It was never about something like that, it was... "she tried to find the right words "It´s like we met for a reason, to change each others view on things. He needed a reason to change his course, and I needed to see that there is still good in this world, I never knew how much I needed to see that".

They were silent again for awhile before Nikita felt Michael come up beside her and slip his fingers through hers, grasping her hand.

"Then I´m glad you met him"

She smiled.

"I am too"

Nikita was lenaing against the alleywall waiting for Michael. He had decided to call Percy to confirm the kill on Carter. She could only hope he managed to delay his return to division for a few days at least. Things were still so tense between them, she didn´t want to return yet.

"All clear"

Nikita turned to face Michael.

"What did he say?"

"Good work"

"And..." Nikita knew she was fishing.

"I´m expected to return to division in three days, but my flight is leaving tomorrow"

"Does he suspect?"

"I don´t think so, hard to tell over the phone. I can´t be sure until I´m standing before him"

"By then it´s to late if he does suspect" Nikita pointed out.

"Yeah well, nothing to do about that"

Nikita bit her tongue to stop herself from pointing out that there was another alternative. Now was not the time.

"So you´re leaving tomorrow"

"Yes"

They looked at each other. Both of them wondering what this meant for them. Michaels phone rang, interrupting their moment.

"Yes?"

As Nikita watched his face changed from serious to annoyed.

"Now? Fine. Yes, she´s here. Shut up" Michael sighed and snapped the phone shut.

"That was Owen. He wants us to meet him at a bar"

"A bar?" Nikita flashed back to the last time the three of them were at a bar, it didn´t end so good.

"Don´t ask me what is going on in that head of his, obviously there is something lacking"

"We better get going then, which way?"

Michael pointed at the street leading downtown outside the alley and Nikita turned and started to leave when Michaels voice stopped her.

"Hey"

She looked at him.

"We´ll talk later?"

"Yeah" She smiled, but it was not a happy smile. Always later.

When they entered the bar they spotted Owen seated at a table, nursing a beer. They slowly walked up to him and seated themselves facing him.

Owen broke the silence.

"You look better" He smiled at Nikita.

Nikita found herself smiling back, a small smile, but still a smile.

"I feel better. Thank you"

Owen looked puzzled so she continued.

"For helping Michael. It means a lot to me"

"Oh no problem, it was actually kind of fun. Well not the part were you were captured and tortured but the other stuff"

"What do you want?"

Trust Michael to be blunt.

"Hey hey, don´t be like that, I just wanted to make sure you guys were alright, and I can see that you are"

Are we? Nikita wondered.

Michael didn´t answer so Nikita filled the silence.

"That´s very kind of you. I´m happy to see you as well" she turned to Michael "I´m going to order a beer, want one?"

"Yeah sure"

Nikiat smiled and got up and went over to the bar, leaving the two men at the table staring at each other.

"So" Owen started.

"So" Michael echoed.

"You guys are fine right?"

"Yeah we´re fine" Michael relaxed a bit "You?"

"Fine"

"Did you make it to the hotel without problems?"

"Piece of cake, ditched the car in the forrest"

"Good" Michael hesitated "Thank you. For your help in finding Nikita".

"Don´t mention it. I´m sure you would have found her by yourself too"

"I would have" Michael confirmed "But it would have taken longer. So thank you".

Owen nodded.

Nikita returned to the table and seated herself next to Michael, handing him one the beers.

"So" She raised her bottle "To teamwork?"

"To teamwork" Michael and Owen echoed clinking their bottles.

Two hours later all three of them were slightly drunk and laughing wildly at each others stories.

"No I´m serious" Owen laughed loudly "The guy actually told me to drop it or else, so I did, imagine his surprise when I dropped my pants"

Michael and Nikita laughed loudly.

"That is so unreal" Michael got out.

"No I swear, it´s the honest truth"

A large booming voice interrupted them from the stage.

"Alright ladies and gents, now we are starting the karaoke contest, and tonight there is a lot of contestants so be prepared to be blown away!"

Michael suddenly stilled, a feeling of dread settling in the pit of his stomach. He slowly turned to face Owen who was watching him with a grin on his face.

"You didn´t?"

"I did" Owen confirmed.

Michael closed his eyes before opening them to glare at Owen.

"I´m not doing that"

"Doing what?" Nikita asked, not having seen their exchange.

Michael turned to face her.

"He wants me to sing" He growled out.

Nikitas eyes turned round.

"He wants you to do what?"

"I told you there is something lacking!"

"The only thing that is lacking is your balls" Owen spoke calmly, still with a grin on his face "Don´t tell me you´re scared?" He mocked lightly.

"I´m not scared, I just don´t want to" Michael argued, throwing a slightly nauseous look at the stage where a very drunk woman was belting out Celine Dions classic, my heart will go on, as if Leonardo was actually in the room.

"You´re scared" Owen stated "But, need I remind you of a certain promise..."

Michaels and Nikitas eyes widened, making Owen laugh.

"You are going to waste that on a thing like this?" Michael gestured at the stage where the drunk woman was being led of the stage by her friends.

"Yeah, I actually think I am" Owen grinned.

"Are you sure there is nothing else you need my help with? Bank robbery? Tracking down evil people? Building a house?" Michael was getting desperate.

"No no no, this is so much more fun, besides, you need to loosen up, it´s not healthy being so serious all the time. You´re going to thank me"

"I doubt that"

The drunk woman had been replaced by a middle aged man, who according to the speaker was dedicating this song to his friends.

"Come on Michael" Nikita spoke up having realized this could be really great, for her that was "I´m sure you´re an amazing singer" She smiled at him.

He closed his eyes in defeat.

"Do I at least get to pick the song?"

"Nope. I already did that for you. You just have to wait for your turn, they´ll call your name sooner or later" He added happily.

"And now we have Michael, who is going to be singing Lonely Boy by the Sex Pistols, come on up boy!"

Michael glared at Owen who shrugged.

"I guess it was sooner"

"You are dead"

"Oh don´t be like that, hurry up now, they are waiting for you"

Michael glared at him and stood up, throwing a desperate look at Nikita, hoping she would rescue him from this, but she just smiled and gave a thumbs up. He dragged his feet to the stage, taking the microphone which was handed to him with a sigh. Looking out at the people seated he wondered what would happen if he simply shoot Owen and then ran. Nikita would forgive him eventually right? His musings were interrupted by the song starting and he steeled himself. Too late now.

Standing in the middle of the stage he started to sing.

_I'm left in misery  
The girl I love's gone across the sea  
I'm all alone  
I ain't got no home  
Mandy was her name  
Sleepin' was her game  
She didn't care about me  
Oh God, baby can't you see_

Michael had actually liked to sing, and had done a lot of it when he was younger, when he was alone that was, but that was a long time ago, still he lost himself in the music and unknowingly started to get in to it.

_I'm a lonely boy  
I'm a lonely boy  
I'm a lonely boy  
I'm a lonely boy_

He looked at their table where Nikita was seated, he caught her eye and winked, making her mouth drop open.

_I need her tender touch  
Oh, I need it oh so much  
I can't forget  
I'm so upset  
I wonder where she's gone  
I wonder where she went wrong  
I wanna get her back to me  
But I think she's tired of me_

Nikita was shocked. She had no idea Michael could sing. Sure she had said that to him, but that had been to urge him on. Still, with his voice she shouldn´t be surprised. She watched as he slid across the stage, looking more like a rockstar than the agent she knew he was.

_I'm a lonely boy  
I'm a lonely boy  
I'm a lonely boy  
I'm a lonely boy_

Every time I think of her  
It brings back memories  
I remember how it used to be  
Oh baby, can't you see?  
Oh baby, come back to me.

Nikita stood up and started to whistle and clap her hands in time with the music, Owen following her lead.

_I'm a lonely boy  
I'm a lonely boy  
I'm a lonely boy  
I'm a lonely boy_

Soon most of the patriots in the bar were standing up and singing along, Michael leaned over edge of the stage and again caught Nikitas eyes as he finished.

_Oh my darlin' can't you see  
You're the one that means so much to me  
I know I need you're tender touch  
Oh I need it oh so much  
I can't wait to fill your crotch  
Oh what a crotch  
I can't wait to fuck it_

Owen howled with laughter and Nikita blushed. Michael bowed and waved at the crowd and Nikita thought again that he could have been a star. He certainly had the looks and the voice she thought as she watched two girls run up to him as he exited the stage. Jealousy ran through her but as she watched he simlpy brushed them off and went over to their table where she and Owen were waiting.

Owen slapped him on the back and laughed.

"I knew you had it in you"

Michael grinned and turned to find Nikita watching him.

"You were amazing" She spoke softly

"Surprised?" He teased her.

"I should know better than that" She smiled brightly at him.

He laughed and slipped his arms around her waist to pull her to him for a hug. She basked in the heat flowing from him and laid her head against his shoulder hugging him back tightly, for the moment forgetting everything else.

**I really hope you liked this chapter, I actually do :) I suggest listening to the song Lonely Boy by the Sex Pistols to get the full picture lol. Andrej said he´d call Nikita "****товарищ", which means "friend" in russian, I hope I got that right. ****Hugs to you all! x**


	17. The waiting game

**So sorry for the long wait. There is a lot going on with me right now. Well enough of that, hope everything is good with you guys and hope you enjoy this chapter. We are taking a leap here and leaving Russia, a time leap as well. Simply because, well I feel we are finished there. For now at least.**

Wait is something we all have to do at one point or the other. Some wait for a long time, while others only have to wait for a few minutes before that which they desire is there for them. Some wait in line at a shop, nervously glancing at their watch every other second, others wait for their life to start, or end... and some of us wait for someone.

Looking back on her life Nikita knew that waiting wasn´t something she was good at, but she could do it if she had to. She had waited four years to avenge Daniels death before returning on divisions radar. She had been forced to wait, she had to be ready. She had waited for Michael to realize what kind of man Percy was. It felt like she had waited forever for him to choose her.

An urgent phonecall had Michael leaving Moscow in a hurry the same night they had been at the bar. Percy had demanded his presence, and Michael of course, couldn´t refuse. She had left shortly after, Owen too. Who knew where he was.

Waiting at Michael´s place probably wasn´t one of her smartest moves, but she couldn´t wait for him to come to her. She wanted to see him as soon as she could. She knew he was probably meeting with Percy, and she knew it could take a while before he returned home. Still, she waited. A stone like figurine sitting in the chair by the window, overlooking the city below.

Deep down she was worried. They were on Percys field now. Would things be different? Would he be different? No, no. She trusted Michael. He wouldn´t betray her. _You trusted him before too _a voice inside her whispered. That was different she argued. _Was it?_

She trusted Michael. It was his weird loyalty to Percy she didn´t trust. Still she waited. The sky grew darker as the day turned into night.

Looking back on her days in division, from the first moment she opened her eyes in that room to see Michael, to the last moment before she left, crushed by an overwhelming sense of guilt. Michaels worried face the last she saw before she left without looking back.

Every memory she had Michael was in. She remembered him teaching her to fight, remembered the look on his face when she teased Birkhoff and nicknamed him the nerd, saw him from the corner of her eye when Amanda was teaching her the art of seduction. He was there all along. She refused to believe that it couldn´t be the same now. When he came home she would tell him. She would tell him that she needed him, needed him as she needed air. That she didn´t know how to live without him.

The sound of keys jingling snapped her out of her inner musings and she stood up quickly and retreated into the corner of the room, masked by the darkness. She waited as the door opened and Michael entered. He looks so tired she mused. She watched as he turned of the alarm and set it again, always careful. He shrugged out of his jacket and turned for the kitchen when he stopped. Without turning around he spoke.

"I´ve been looking for you"

"I was here all along"

He turned around and met her gaze in the darkness.

"I missed you"

_Tell him! Tell him now! _The voice inside her screamed. She took a step forward.

"Michael.. I..."

He took a step closer to her. Still, it felt like an ocean was between them.

_Tell him!_

"I, I missed you too"

_Coward! _

He looked at her for a few seconds without speaking before taking the remaining steps forward and reached out his hand for her to take. She took it without hesitation. The warmth enveloped her and spread through her body, making her relax. He leaned his head down and rested his forehead against hers.

"I´m here now"

_For how long? _

"How did everything go with Percy?"

"It was fine" Michael sighed. "He was happy with the outcome of the mission"

"Think he knows?"

"Don´t think so, still, we have to be careful"

"Does that mean you´re on my side?"

"I´ve never been against you Nikita, you know that" He sighed again.

"That´s not an answer" She stated sadly and let go off his hand and stepped away.

"There is no easy answer to this, but..."

"No buts Michael. You can´t have it both ways. You have to chose. I thought you already had"

_Liar liar pants on fire._

"I have. I have chosen you, but please understand that there is a part of me, that wants to be the good soldier, it´s who I was, who I have been for a very long time, long before I even knew division existed. It´s not easy for me to go against everything I have been taught, but I´m doing it for you, and because it´s the right thing. All I know is that I need you in my life. Don´t shut me out".

She took a deep breath.

"I won´t, it´s just... hard".

She tried to smile at him. She wondered if he could see through it as he always did. If he did, he didn´t mention it.

"I know".

"So what is Percy up to these days?" She changed the subject, steering them to safer waters, ignoring the voice inside her, who was again calling her a coward and now a liar too.

"I don´t know" Michael frowned. "There is something going on, something he´s not telling me".

"And if he´s not telling you..."

"Then there is probably something going on he know I won´t like" Michael finished.

"The boxes?"

"Maybe. I´ll see what I can find out..."

"Be careful"

He smiled at her.

"Have you eaten?"

"No, I was..." _To busy worrying about you... _"busy. You?"

"No, chinese?"

"Sounds great" And it did.

As Michael called and ordered their food, Nikita pondered the fact that he knew what she wanted without having to say it.

Twenty minutes later Michael had poured them a glass of wine when the bell rang. Nikita left to use the bathroom while Michael opened the door for the delivery guy. When she returned he had set everything up and she sat down at the table, feeling tired.

"You look tired"

Michaels voice was concerned.

"I am. I´ll be fine".

They ate in silence until Michaels voice broke the silence.

"Stay here tonight?"

She hesitated and he continued.

"It´s really late and..."

She smiled. Her first true smile this evening.

"You know I can take care of myself"

"I know you can. I would feel better though"

She nodded. And it was decided.

Without speaking they cleaned the table and went through their nightly routine. They laid down in his bed, no one brought up the other bed in the guest room. They laid facing each other in the darkness, neither speaking, their gazes locked on each other. When she was on the verge of sleep Nikita whispered.

"What happens now?"

She was half asleep when she heard his whispered reply.

"I don´t know"

At the same time somewhere else in the city...

"I want to send him a message not to mess with me"

"I understand your feelings on this Percy, but I have to ask, isin´t the price to high?"

"There is casualties in everything Robert, such is war"

"True. But isin´t there another way? Declaring war on the CIA is not a good idea. And this way..."

"This is the perfect way to show him not to stand in my way. God, sometimes I wish we hadn´t killed off the lazy bastard in charge before. At least he did what he was told".

"Still, are you sure it´s going to work?"

"Of course it is. He has information I want, which he won´t give to me. I have to show him what happens when people go against me".

"And if he still dosen´t give in?"

"Then next time it will be something closer to him. That´s the deal. Trust me, he will se the error of his ways".

"I hope you know what you´re doing, this could fall back on us badly."

"I always do"

Michael woke to the sound of his phone ringing. A glance down confirmed what he already knew. Nikita was fast asleep in his arms. How she didn´t wake to the sound of his phone ringing he didn´t know. She must be really tired he thought. He let his finger trail down her cheek and sighed softly. Something was up with her, and he was worried. He sighed again and reached for his phone that was still ringing.

"Yes?"

"Michael, listen I need you here"

"Birkhoff?"

"Yeah it´s me, look, something is going on here. Can you come in?"

"Uh yeah of course, what is it? Is this line secure?"

Birkhoff made a sound like a scoff. Appalled that Michael could even suggest that he had called from an unsecure line.

"Right" Michael spoke again "Tell me".

"A group has been sent out on a spur of the moment mission it seems"

Michael sat up straighter.

"In the city?"

"Yes"

"We have no ongoing missions in the city"

"I know"

"What´s the target?"

"I don´t know"

"You don´t know?"

"I don´t know"

"How can you not know? How are they supposed to operate without support?"

"Percy told me I would be told later on in the OP"

Michael mulled this over for a few seconds.

"He dosen´t want to risk exposure"

"Michael, there is something wrong with this. I ALWAYS know"

"You´re right. Something is going on. I´ll be there soon"

He hung up before Brikhoff could answer.

Nikita was still asleep. That in itself was strange, she must be exhausted. Should he wake her and tell her something was going on? Looking down he noticed the darkness underneath her eyes, she was so tired. Leaning down he pressed his lips against hers for a light kiss. When she didn´t stir he got up and got dressed. He would let her sleep. Maybe this situation wasn´t as serious as it seemed, and if it was, he didn´t want her in the middle of it, being as tired as she was, and not being able to operate fully. It wasn´t long ago that she was beaten and held hostage, she needed to let her body rest. Still, he knew she would be angry as all hell when she woke. The thought made him pause. _At least she´ll be alive _a voice inside him whispered., and it was that thought that made him take one last look at her sleeping peacefully in his bed before leaving and closing the door softly behind him.

Striding into division Michael felt different. The cold morning air had cleared his mind and he was wide awake and aware. Tension was humming in his body and he walked briskly toward Birkhoff seated at his usual place clicking away at his laptop. When he got close Birkhoff looked up and their gaze met in cold understanding. Something was very wrong.

"Morning" Michael greeted.

"It´s quiet here" Birkhoff responded. Meaning he didn´t know anything more yet, and was kept out of the loop.

Michael nodded and caught sight of Percy walking towards them. The smile he gave them was cold and Michael braced himself and faced him.

"Michael. Back so soon? I thought you would have taken the morning off after getting back so late".

Percy glanced down at Birkhoff who hadn´t even stopped typing.

"You know Michael, can´t stay away for too long for fear that this place might go under without him here" Birkhoff quipped.

"Well that is the dedication I admire around here" Percys smile was cold.

"Is there something I should know?" Michael questioned softly.

"Not at this moment no. I will need your help later so be prepared to leave with a few minutes notice".

Percy smiled again before turning around and leaving.

"So he dosen´t want you here, but he still needs your help" Birkhoff muttered.

"Let me know as soon as you know something"

Michael left for his office. Feeling someone watching him he glanced up and caught sight of Percy and Amanda looking at him. A cold feeling spread through his body, but he nodded in greeting and entered his office, closing the door behind him.

"He knows something" Amanda stated.

"He dosen´t know what he knows" Percy countered.

"Is it wise to involve him in this?"

"I have no choice now that he is here. Besides, it might be good for him to see what happens to those who cross me".

"That is a mistake" Amanda spoke softly but surely. "Michael is a good soldier, but even a good soldier has his own mind, especially Michael. You´re going to turn him against you. He dosen´t fear death"

"He dosen´t have too" Percy turned to her. "Michael knows he needs to be here, to balance things out, he´s been gone now in Russia on an OP and look what happens when he´s gone. He thinks he needs to keep an eye on me, to make sure that things don´t spin out of control. He can´t do that if he´s not here, if he´s left division" Percy smiled a chilling smile "So you see, Michael will realize that he needs to stay right where he is, so he can protect the innocent lives of people he dosen´t even know" the last part was spoken with contempt.

Amanda pondered this for a few seconds before speaking up again.

"You´re right, to a point, but you keep forgetting one important thing"

"Ah yes. Nikita. She will be dealt with soon enough"

"I still think it´s a bad idea to involve him in this. He won´t stand for it"

"He dosen´t have a choice. By the time he figures it out, it will be to late, and then he will realize what he needs to do. Stay here, and keep the balance".

"I hope you´re right, but keep in mind that it may not go as you think"

"It will. But in case it dosen´t, there is always plan B"

**It was supposed to be longer, but I decided to end it there as I want to put up a warning for the next chapter before putting it up. It´s going to be a lot darker than the other chapters, and that may not feel right with everyone. There is going to be all kinds of angst, and people will die. I´m not going to go into detail, but if it goes as I have planned it, it´s going to be dark. Just so you know. What did you think of this chapter? I took a leap and left happyland for angstland right away, don´t know why really, it just fits my mood. Let me know what you think :) About Alex, I had actually planned for her to be in this story, but as things progressed I actually forgot all about her, and now I feel it´s to late for her to join in, sorry to those who miss her. **


	18. Past sins

**Uhm hi? (waves white flag from behind a tree). So I know some might be a little bit disappointed with me right now, and I totally understand that. I'm a fickle thing, and my writing is always a reflection of my mood, which is not always the greatest. Long story short, my muse for my Mikita stories ran away and refused to come out. Good news, I think that in the year that's passed since I updated this story (ducks again to avoid rotten tomatoes and... dog piss?) I've become a better writer with a better understanding of the english language. Feel free to tell me if you don't agree, and other things your thinking if your still reading this story. Be harsh, I can take it. **

**I don't own Nikita and the rest.**

"_Gabriel. Hi"_

_Nikita looked up from where she was doing pushups and smiled at the man standing over her._

"_Hi Nikita, how's it going?"_

_She groaned as she pushed her way to standing. "Well you know, can't complain... or at least I shouldn't, I have a feeling you would tell" She smiled a saccarine smile at him. Sure she liked Gabriel, but he was a little too close to Percy to be trusted. If Michael was Percy's second in command then Gabriel was the one waiting in the shadows. She wondered if she was the only who thought the biblical shadow was a bit ironic. _

"_Oh I would never tell on you" Gabriel smiled sweetly._

"_Of course not" Nikita rolled her eyes inwardly. "So..." She prompted, trying to hurry up their conversation. Michael would arrive soon and she didn't want him to think she was being lazy, as he'd accused her of the day before. Bastard. She seethed silenlty at the thought of her trainer slash mentor slash tormentor. _

"_Oh I didn't mean to disturb you, just thought I should say hi"_

_Well then why aren't you leaving genius... "I see,well i'm waiting for Michael so..."_

"_Yes well, you know Nikita, I hear he's a bit hard on you, just let me know if you want to switch trainer, I could always take over your training"._

_Was he serious? She thought the whole point of this training was being slaved half to death, and now he said it wasn't, sneaky bastard. "I didn't know changing mentors was an option?" She raised an eyebrow. Oh please, she may be new here, but she'd been playing this game since she could walk. Gabriel had nothing on her. _

"_It's not" A firm voice rang out from behind her, and there he was. Her tormentor, dressed casually in all black training clothes and those calm eyes she sometimes wanted to scratch out, before beating him black and blue. She thought those green eyes looked a bit harder than they usually did as he came to stand next to her, meeting Gabriel's eyes. _

_Gabriel held his hands up in a show of peace and backed off with a small smile on his lips. "Just making an offer"._

_Now it was Michael's turn to lift an eyebrow. "Don't". He said simply, no more warning needed. _

_Nikita felt a chill race down her spine but shook it off. She may detest Michael most of the time, but she wasn't stupid enough to underestimate him, she knew what he could do. She'd lived on the streets long enough to know what the look in his eyes meant. Not to mention where he was and in what position. You didn't get there by asking nicely. _

Nikita sat up in bed with a gasp. A few seconds passed as she willed her heart to slow down. Why had she dreamt of something that happened so long ago? She hadn't even run in to Gabriel since she went back on division's radar, didn't even know if he was still alive. A thought crossed her mind as she suddenly took notice of the cold side of the bed next to her, and she knew without a doubt that Michael was gone.

"Michael"

Michael and Birkhoff looked up and saw Gabriel leaning against the desk next to Birkhoff's. Michael straightened up slowly, coming to stand at his full height. Everyone around turned quiet, but still managed to look very busy, hiding the fact that they were all keeping an eye on the trio.

"Gabriel" Michael replied calmly.

"Birkhoff" Birkhoff muttered, low enough that no one heard it. He may be a bit unhappy but he wasn't suicidal.

"So... what's going on? I was on a mission, but then got called back" Gabriel took a few steps closer.

"Something is always going on here" Michael smirked a little. "I've been overseas, so I'm the wrong guy to ask right now".

Gabriel nodded, and after one last glance he left without a word.

"Well that was normal" Birkhoff quipped.

"Yeah" Michael mumbled, his eyes trained on Gabriel's retreating back.

_Hey everybody do you remember this one? It was a big hit in the eighties..._

Nikita turned the radio off. Something was wrong. She guessed that Michael had gone back to division. Maybe he'd been called in she mused. But if that was the case then why didn't he wake her? As the minutes passed the feeling grew stronger, the one that told her everything was about to change. She couldn't wait around anymore. She grabbed her coat and was soon walking down the street, she needed a cab, but she didn't want to catch one so close to Michael's apartment. You never knew who could be watching. She didn't stop until she reached a coffeeshop where she'd been before. It was one of her favorites, and one of the few places that she came back to regulary.

"Coffee. Black". As she ordered she glanced at the street outside, doing her routine sweep. It was so ingrained in her being that she didn't even think about it anymore. She turned back to grab her coffee with a small polite smile, but the smile slipped off her face as she noticed the phone in the guy's hand instead of coffee.

"It's for you" The young man explained, an emotionless look on his face that Nikita recogniced all too well. She took the phone without taking her eyes from his.

"Nikita. Finally. I've been waiting for you" Percy chuckled.

–

"And I told her I could explain the pictures, but she didn't want to listen. Women". Birkhoff finished his rant about his latest date, if you could call it that.

Michael was only listening with one ear, and not even that. He wanted to call Nikita, to check on her, make sure that she was okay, but he couldn't do that here, and he couldn't leave. He was stuck here until Percy was prepared to tell him what was going on. No sooner had the thought passed through his mind before Percy was before him, a smile on his face that made him exstremely uneasy.

"Michael, can I see you in my office?"

Michael nodded and got to his feet to follow Percy. As he stepped into his office he met Amanda's eyes. So this was big then. Amanda was never present during the small operations. Michael suspected that she deemed it beneath her intelligence.

"Do you remember this man?" Percy pushed a few buttons and face of a middleaged man appaered on the screen.

Michael's heart picked up a steady beat and the adrenaline started to flow in his body. Oh he knew that man, more than he ever wished to. The cold blue eyes were the same, as was the cruel smile. The man was Robert Bicks, and he was one of the reasons that he and Nikita had a falling out when she was a new operative. Robert had been an associate of Percy's that they were supposed to work with to gain intel into a third party. The mission had been a failure. It was the only mission they'd failed at together and Percy had been livid and Nikita furious. Because they were working with someone she had thought was a somewhat decent guy, when that fact couldn't have been further from the truth. Robert Bicks was nowhere near decent, something Michael had known all along. Their strained relationship was shaky as it was, and the lies had changed them for good. A month after that Nikita was assigned a cover op, and she met Daniel. "I do" he answered Percy's question.

"As you know Mr Bicks has been of great value to us before, something that has now changed. He's selling division secrets to the highest bidder, and that has to stop as you understand. He's been leaking upwards, and people are starting to ask questions, important people. I want you to take him out" Percy stated bluntly.

Michael nodded. "Of course. Am I going solo or is a team assigned?"

Percy smiled and Amanda took a step forward. "Since you've dealt with him before we thought it best if it was just you and another agent this time. Come on". He motioned for him to follow and he did, dread building by each step he took. Percy stopped at the entrance, and Michael could feel Birkhoff's curious eyes on them and the chill Amanda usually gave off. "This is exstremely important Michael. I know I can trust you to get it done".

Michael nodded and glanced towards the door. Percy chuckled a little. "Drastic times and all that".

Michael frowned as the unease he felt before grew stronger. Then the doors opened and his heart nearly stopped. Percy took a step forward, his hands before him in a sign of peace.

"Nikita. Glad you could make it".

**Anyone confused? Don't worry, it'll clear up soon ;) Like it? Hate it? Want to trash your own computer just so you won't have to look at this story anymore? Let me know. **


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